dream/divination

I’m currently in the middle of redoing this website

I’m adding some separate pages that will go into different topics in depth

IChing
Channeling/Spiritual communications
Tarot
Dream Interpretation
Magical properties of Essential oils
Magical properties of healing crystals
Runes
Reiki and energy work
Astrology
Numerology
Herbal witchcraft
Wheel of the Year

I also am closing all niche sites down except Diymommy18.com. I’m also redoing that site.
If you have any topics of interest you would like to see covered either in a blog or a page separate from the blog, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

dream/divination · Parenting

Pagan Mommy in a Christian World

As long as I can remember, I walked off the normal path. I was always seen as different, strange, and could never fit in when I was a child. I tried wearing the same clothes, listening to the same music, talking with the same slang (slang always made my head hurt) and no matter what I tried, I never could succeed at fitting in.

I have the same issue now that my oldest is in school. I have tried to come up with things to say to start conversations with parents who seem a good ten years older than I am. I have tried to wrack my astrology and tarot obsessed brain to figure out how to start an appropriate, not new-age conversation and my brain fails. I feel like if I mention Bethcessories, I’ll come off as being pushy like a sales rep at a kiosk at the mall. If I mention writing, I’ll be seen as trying to self promote myself too much and if I talk about my tarot and astrology business, I’ll be seen, once again as too much self promotion. It feels like a very fine line.

There also seems to be a bit of a difference between moms who work from home, stay at home or work out of the home so besides the age difference, it feels like I don’t fully fit in with either of the main groups. It may all be in my head, but I’ve attended one or two PTO meetings and only spoke with a few people in the entire time I was there- one was my daughter’s teacher. My daughter was in therapy with one class mate (different therapists but we went at the same time) and I would try to get to know their mom, then I heard her talking to one of the therapists about a church group and it hit me- church groups seem to be how different parents get to know each other. That night, I went on facebook and found one lone Pagan parenting group and another group for all pagans in my state, so I know we exist.

 

I have another that focuses on gluten/dairy free recipes and normal kid crafts that can be found here. This site is going to be 100% focused on pagan parenting, history, divination and all things New Age. I will post kid friendly ritual and spell ideas you can get kids involved in and around each holiday, I’ll post ways for your child to celebrate.

 

Attraction Series

Difference Between Twin Flame, Life Partner and Soul Mate

Every romantic wants to meet their “soul mate,” fall in love, settle down and start a life with that one person. There are many people that say they are married to their one true soul mate but there are misconceptions on the concept of soul mate. A soul mate is not necessarily the person you settle down with. It can be a child, a friend, parent or other close family member or a member of your preferred gender. It can be someone you end up marrying but there are other types of people who come in and out of our lives.

Some people have heard the term “twin flame” tossed around and some may have heard “life partner” but what do they mean? No one has just one soul mate, but people do have just one twin flame.

What is a Soul Mate?

A soul mate is a person put in your life to make a difference- to teach you something. It may or may not be the one you marry. (life partner is a different concept and you typically settle down with your life partner and not a soul mate)

A soul mate doesn’t have to be someone you’re romantically attracted to- it can be a family member, friend, partner or just a stranger you have a conversation with.

 

What is a “Twin Flame?”

The concept of the twin flame is the second half of your soul. In some belief systems, the soul was split in half and people spend their whole live(s) searching for the second half. THe second half is also reincarnated in the same timeframe and they can come into each other’s lives, but it’s rare.

When the twin flames meet, the feelings are intense and it’s like being with another version of yourself. You feel complete with them and you feel like you have known them for forever. Some times, these relationships are too intense to last but you will always remember them, even if you have a falling out, you will miss them.

It is said that you can both be on opposite ends of the world and if you meet yours, there is a good chance your soul is ready. When twin flames meet prior to being truly ready, the intensity of the relationship can be too strong and that will be what makes the relationship go up in flames.

 

What is a life partner?

A life partner is the one you end up settling down with. This relationship progresses slower and unlike with a soul mate or the twin flame, the feelings don’t get as intense. They give you a stability and a close feeling, you will feel comfortable and close. You won’t care as much around them because you’re confident that they will continue to be with you regardless of how you look at your worst. This partnership will make the best marriage. You won’t be afraid of being your most vulnerable, you will want to open up and you will want them in your life in a permanent spot.

Uncategorized

The ever popular “Quarter life crisis”

I read about the quarter life crisis for the first time several years ago when I was trying to figure out if I was going through some sort of “mid life crisis” early. I found out about the concept that tends to start somewhere around your 25th year.

From the time I was young, I had things mapped out in my head-
By 25 I wanted
1. A college degree
2. To be started enough in a career I actually loved to be financially fully stable
3. A husband
4. To be finished with pregnancy and have 2 kids
5. Be a home owner and not renter

Our reality at 25
1. I had a beauty school license
2. I was a stay at home mom by necessity, we took our daughter out in public once after she came home from the NICU and ended up with a cold and in the PICU, so we couldn’t put her in care for a while
3. I did get married at 22, so I met that goal
4. I was pregnant with baby 2 when I was 25 but we lost her so we only had 1 living child. I was trying to come to terms with my older daughter being an only child.
5. We still rented the first home we moved into when we first got married.

Hell, even at 30 I’ve been unable to meet all those. I still can’t find a major I want to study but I am working on going back to school hopefully this year and we’re hoping to be able to get the first time home buyer’s loan this year, but

My reality at 31
1. Still can’t determine a degree I want to study and go in debt for- so I’m just not sure a 4 year is right for me. I’m a licensed skin therapist and looking at an LPN program (waiting for the test to get in to the program in March and have been reading through study material). I’m looking at several other programs as well at a couple other schools
2. I just left a retail part time job and before that, I worked in a salon. Both were stable- like, I wouldn’t lose the jobs but the paychecks weren’t stable. I’m currently looking around at job openings and writing/doing Etsy full time until I get to my next step
3. I’m still married, we’re going on 9 years so that never changed.
4. At 27, I had my last child- this pregnancy was healthy and she’s now a very hyper and healthy 3 year old.
5. We still rent and still live where we moved when we first got together. We’re just hoping next year we’ll be ready to buy.

I’m starting to get out of my quarter life crisis, (funny when you know a name). I’m still a Type A personality with no career to throw myself into and I’m still a workaholic type with no work to throw myself into- which is most of the reason I have this site, my Etsy and my writing. I have to have goals and something to focus that particular energy on- I also have gotten to the point over the years I can’t stand working under other peoples’ rules.

I’m also starting to notice that there is nothing I really want to go into major debt for that will promise a pay out. (4 year college)

I’m hoping I won’t be as stagnant in my 30s as i was in my 20s. I’m still completely unclear to the path I want to take but I am starting to accept that I’m not “young” anymore, but not old either. I guess I’m in the middle age- not middle aged but not young adult. I know I could easily pursue a higher degree and I could easily go back multiple times but for what? To go into debt and end up with lower earning potential? To work for someone else? Live by someone else’s rules?

 

dream/divination

I mentioned last month I was planning a newsletter

I’m going to put the sign up on here this month and it’s going to start next month.

It’s going to be about Astrology, numerology, tarot and other divination methods as well as any Wiccan/Pagan holidays coming up and moon phases

It will be just one time a month, I’m hoping to get the sign up form up soon.

Attraction Series · dream/divination

I’m thinking about New Years already. I’m not one to really make resolutions, but I do start things on the first of the month to easily track things.

Years ago, I did a tarot reading for myself for my year and the reading told me what month I was going to meet my husband, the month we got married and when my daughter was conceived. Since then, I do a yearly reading for myself and now I offer it in person or online.

I also offer it here.

I have some plans for the website, an ebook I’m hoping to publish and some major plans for Bethcessories. (originally here)

This week, I’m barely able to think- my work has me out daily until Christmas Eve, so I got the Christmas cookies baked today and I’m going to go ahead and say

Merry Christmas!!

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I’m getting ready to do a full series on attraction

I read an article a while back about being the ugly friend. I’m tired of hearing “ugly” being used as an insult since attractiveness means different things to different people and no one is universally ugly- or attractive. Even the most attractive woman in the world wouldn’t be seen as attractive to every single person on this planet- but even the ugliest wouldn’t be ugly to others.

There are many layers to what makes someone attractive and so much more than I could write in one post so I’m doing an introduction to the series. I’m not sure how many I will post in this series, I have 2 drafts started, a few questions asked on my facebook and a few questions I’ll be writing as an interview and asking questions so at least 5.

 

If anyone has any questions about the series- feel free to comment.

I do not believe in the concept of true attractiveness. I don’t believe in universal nor do I believe in being jealous (I do think there are people jealous- but I don’t believe in being jealous- I consider any feelings of jealousy to be showing me where I need to self reflect and try to improve myself

I never had destructive jealousy when I was younger, but this series is going to be written more directed at a younger age- early 20s and single- touching on getting older and aging since we all know a lot of physical attractiveness tends to fade over the years- especially when upkeep gets put on the back burner.

I do not consider myself to be unattractive nor attractive- but average look wise- same as the majority of the population as a whole and when I speak on attractive, I typically mean conventional.

My first will be listing the benefits I could find about being the so called “ugly friend”

Others will be a poll I’m currently taking about what people find more attractive- intelligence, personality or physical appearance

Heavily researched articles about “beauty privilege” and “ugly discrimination”as well as the benefits to being seen as conventionally attractive.

and in the end, I’ll end it with open questions and poll about what makes people attractive to other people. (asking random people)

If anyone has any questions about any of these or have any questions they would like to see answered, feel free to comment the questions.

 

 

Health · Parenting

Is Drinking Really Worth It?

I read so much about parents and drinking, all the posts and memes about wine and all the jokes about how bad mommy needs a drink. 

It had me thinking about it a while back, and while I really didn’t mean to write this, I’m writing it now. People who knew me pre-kids and pre-marriage and know me now have seen a huge change. Before I met my (pretty much, anti alcohol) husband, I was an alcoholic. My day consisted of- gym, walk to work, walk to bar before going home. That was my daily life. I was functional- but not. I was able to hold a job but there were times I would spend nearly my whole bank account and barely remember the last night. One St Patrick’s Day, I spent 12 hours at the bar. They knew me by name and it was a time I felt like I fit in.

Then, my husband and I met and I cut down massively- he was 19 and I was 22 when we met so I couldn’t go to the bar anymore (I could, but I wanted to go out with him). I never was a fan of drinking solo, so I quit. I got pregnant right after we got married and attended my very first party without drinking- I still had fun, even though he and I were the only ones not drinking. As I got a little older and more established as a new mommy, alcohol was losing it’s appeal completely. Since having kids, I have only drank a handful of times and after my last time, I won’t again.

I started looking for nonreligious places to go to meet other adults with kids but no alcohol and it’s tough. It feels like drinking is the most symbolic part of being an adult. I know I’m not the only one who feels that alcohol isn’t as sweet and innocent a joke as people seem to think.

While looking up the “mommy needs a drink” joke, I found this from the site Salon talking about growing up living that “joke.”

Coming from the experience of “I really need a drink” (in order to properly function), I don’t consider that joke to be funny. I do have days I don’t get the chance to sit until bedtime, I have bad days- but nothing so bad it would put me back in the bottle.

In my failed attempts to locate family friendly events where I could possibly meet other local parents, I attended a family friendly charity event about a year ago. They had two kid booths but in the food booths the smell of alcohol was so strong I could barely smell the food. We had a hard time hearing each other or our kids over the sound of the adults getting louder and more obnoxious that we left after the girls ate. By the time we left, we were walking past groups of grown women who were loud, obnoxious and flirting with men who were on the same level of intoxication. This was in a rich part of town with men and women who put on a classier show in other places. I was honestly surprised to see so many people acting like teenagers.

Last year we went on vacation with my mom and dad. My husband and I went to the hotel restaurant to grab desert. There was a family and the dad was obnoxiously drunk already, with two young kids in his party.

When I was a child, I was taken home after people started drinking. I would notice the adults getting louder and crazier but we always left. Both my parents were totally against alcohol so I’m sure the way I was raised may have something to do with it, but should parents get drunk around their kids? Sure, drinking a few sips or drinking a bottle with a meal isn’t too bad, but should parents really let their young kids see them actually get intoxicated?

There have been studies about parental drinking around kids, even moderate drinking- and seeing parents drunk or tipsy can upset children. There has also been findings that people who watched their parents drinking growing up tend to be more likely to drink as teens and associate with younger drinkers.***

Being taken away didn’t keep me from trying it at 18 or going to a bar regularly at 22, but I also quit drinking quickly. I was a daily drinker from 21 until shortly after my 22nd birthday, when I started to put it down. This past June, on vacation, I got a Margarita but it took me 30 minutes to regulate my breathing and I felt my throat closing, so I am done now. Before that, it had been over a year and before that, another year. I still can go out with friends and have fun. My husband and I have gone to a few local shows and it is more enjoyable without getting dizzy and agitated. Same with going to parties, but I’m still at a stage where I’m more interested in kid’s parties and kid friendly events I can take the whole family.

My kids have never seen me drunk nor intoxicated and I know they never will, I’m saying now I have an alcohol allergy, if pressed, I’ll also admit to being in recovery- it may have been a short time, but at that time my life revolved around alcohol and I never want the girls to go through it.

Even though you can’t prevent your kids from experimenting or giving in to peer pressure, you can educate them on the dangers of alcohol. You can tell them it’s addictive and the problems it causes. It impairs your ability to think right- it causes accidents. In fact, in the US alone, 10,497 people were killed in 2016 due to intoxicated drivers- 28% of accidents that year (according to the CDC). It also harms your liver, kidneys and can lead to liver failure if you drink too much.

Getting drunk itself is a result of alcohol being a poison and the puking and passing out is actually a warning sign of drinking too much- potential alcohol poisoning. Alcohol poisoning can easily lead to death.

Just because people say red wine and moderate drinking (1 glass for a woman, 2 for a man) have health benefits, lifestyle may play a bigger role than the alcohol. There haven’t been enough long term studies to fully prove red wine is as healthy as they say it is. Just like beer, liquor and other forms of alcohol, wine is also a depressant. It slows your body down and can lead to so much more pain than enjoyment. Is it really worth the risk?

 

 

 

 

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This coming June I’m taking my first ever paid vacation from work

Since I’ll have a full week off, I have decided that the month of June I am going to try to do one post a day and come up with either 1 post or one article to submit to a magazine or blog every day through June.

Coming up with ideas shouldn’t be too difficult.

I have 11 more days in this month and I’ll be brainstorming topics (privately) and I’ll try to come up with 30 varied posts.