I read about the quarter life crisis for the first time several years ago when I was trying to figure out if I was going through some sort of “mid life crisis” early. I found out about the concept that tends to start somewhere around your 25th year.
From the time I was young, I had things mapped out in my head-
By 25 I wanted
1. A college degree
2. To be started enough in a career I actually loved to be financially fully stable
3. A husband
4. To be finished with pregnancy and have 2 kids
5. Be a home owner and not renter
Our reality at 25
1. I had a beauty school license
2. I was a stay at home mom by necessity, we took our daughter out in public once after she came home from the NICU and ended up with a cold and in the PICU, so we couldn’t put her in care for a while
3. I did get married at 22, so I met that goal
4. I was pregnant with baby 2 when I was 25 but we lost her so we only had 1 living child. I was trying to come to terms with my older daughter being an only child.
5. We still rented the first home we moved into when we first got married.
Hell, even at 30 I’ve been unable to meet all those. I still can’t find a major I want to study but I am working on going back to school hopefully this year and we’re hoping to be able to get the first time home buyer’s loan this year, but
My reality at 31
1. Still can’t determine a degree I want to study and go in debt for- so I’m just not sure a 4 year is right for me. I’m a licensed skin therapist and looking at an LPN program (waiting for the test to get in to the program in March and have been reading through study material). I’m looking at several other programs as well at a couple other schools
2. I just left a retail part time job and before that, I worked in a salon. Both were stable- like, I wouldn’t lose the jobs but the paychecks weren’t stable. I’m currently looking around at job openings and writing/doing Etsy full time until I get to my next step
3. I’m still married, we’re going on 9 years so that never changed.
4. At 27, I had my last child- this pregnancy was healthy and she’s now a very hyper and healthy 3 year old.
5. We still rent and still live where we moved when we first got together. We’re just hoping next year we’ll be ready to buy.
I’m starting to get out of my quarter life crisis, (funny when you know a name). I’m still a Type A personality with no career to throw myself into and I’m still a workaholic type with no work to throw myself into- which is most of the reason I have this site, my Etsy and my writing. I have to have goals and something to focus that particular energy on- I also have gotten to the point over the years I can’t stand working under other peoples’ rules.
I’m also starting to notice that there is nothing I really want to go into major debt for that will promise a pay out. (4 year college)
I’m hoping I won’t be as stagnant in my 30s as i was in my 20s. I’m still completely unclear to the path I want to take but I am starting to accept that I’m not “young” anymore, but not old either. I guess I’m in the middle age- not middle aged but not young adult. I know I could easily pursue a higher degree and I could easily go back multiple times but for what? To go into debt and end up with lower earning potential? To work for someone else? Live by someone else’s rules?
6 responses to “The ever popular “Quarter life crisis””
[…] challenge is to write out what you feel. In a way, I did that with my last post about the quarter life “crisis” I have been going through for several years now. Anything else I write out will be on paper and […]
I had 3 kids under 3 by 23 so my career stalled massively for years and I started to get really frustrated about that in my late 20s , about not having bought a house too. Like you say though it seemed to pass and now I’m in my late 30s still renting , change career path totally but I’m kinda comfy enough in myself now that I’m not getting annoyed with myself that I’ve not ticked off the list quite yet. Fab post really struck a chord with me
I totally hear you about a quarter life crisis. I learned that if you put time perimeters on yourself that are out of your control (kids, family, house, etc) you may be disappointed, but things you can control – like your blog, writing and Etsy are totally attainable! It seems like you’re doing great – you just have to give yourself credit for all that you accomplished and not compare yourself to the “dream” you had when you were younger. Thanks for sharing – great read!
Thanks. At times this feels frustrating but at the same time, it’s what it takes to keep going and make it. You can’t give up when one thing fails. I had a failed Etsy shop that I tried to revive but scrapped it two years ago and restarted under a new name and selling totally different. Now, it ranks in the top 25 percent on the site- 2 years of hard work and pushing on social media and this year (going into year 3 in a three year trial), I’m out of the red and breaking into the black so it’s succeeding. Running a business of any kind is all trial and error- some expensive errors but ever since high school I knew I wanted two things- to write and to run a business.
We had to pick majors and my major in high school was business focusing on management but switched to ownership years later and took an online course. Funny, all the training I have had with running businesses never prepared me for actually running one. It’s kind of making me wonder how many things you can study in school for higher degrees actually need degrees. I know management and ownership need no schooling and I read that some people prefer working with writers with no formal education. My very first job in high school was writing for the newspaper. I loved it back then and I love writing for Babygaga now. I just kind of wish I had started younger so I’d be further now.
Isn’t it funny how things change & time goes by so quickly. We put such unnecessary pressure on ourselves to have all of those things by a certain age- it’s crazy! I loved this reality check. We all have our own stories & our own timelines 😊 x