Posted on 3 Comments

Blogging niche- yay or nay?

I’ve read a bit here and there about niche. I’ve read both the opinion that niches aren’t that important and I’m assuming my regular readers don’t look at the fact that my writing is all over the place and I talk about random things to avoid this being just personal thoughts and stuff.

If pushed, I’d probably have to say I’m a blogger mommy. I write and I’m a mommy but I’m definitely not a mommy blogger in the traditional sense. I won’t post anything (hopefully) that will ever embarrass my kids when they grow up. (one loves the limelight anyways, I’m trying to get her to start a Youtube with me and hey, maybe we could get the not so social girl involved as well…)

I have silently promised to take 20 pictures to make sure I get the perfect shot, if it ever comes up when my girls are teens or adults I don’t want them to be embarrassed.

I also lost my identity when I first had my oldest. She was born 3 months early, had an 8 month NICU stay and when she came home, we took her out once and she ended up back in the PICU because of a cold. Due to that, we were afraid of putting her in care and my parents worked, so I had to stay home. We tried home health care but the nurses kept leaving (better opportunities out of state or in other areas) or weren’t stable enough for us to leave them alone with her.

I stayed home for 4 years until she had been in pre-k for a while (it wasn’t 4 years by choice- when she started pre- k I started looking around but the job market is hard to get back into when you’ve been gone for as long as I had)

In the years I was unemployed, I started slipping out of my identity. I got very actively involved in the “Mom Facebook community” to the point I adminned in several groups but ended up getting tired of the drama and being expected to post multiple times daily. I very slowly quit those communities.

Now, I have two healthy kids. The youngest is 3 and I’ve been working on losing the identity of just “mommy.” I’m working on trying to get in touch with my real interests, hopes, dreams and who I am as a person. Thanks to that, my mind is typically all over the place. One minute, I’ll be listening to “Baby shark” with Bubble Guppies on in the background and the next I’ll be listening to Within Temptation with Lord of the Rings on. It hasn’t been as huge a process as it seems or even feels like it would be. I love reading “mommy blogs” and connecting with “mommy bloggers” but I don’t feel like I would fit into that.

I know I’m not a travel blogger, beauty, fashion or lifestyle so I’m guessing I don’t fit in any of the neat little categories.

The cons I have read about not fitting one is that it’s harder to find a target market. Since I write and have my business, I spend a lot of time trying to determine my target market and in that realm I’d need a niche, right?

I can name one huge pro with not fitting a niche- you aren’t confined to only writing about one topic. I was writing for a pregnancy/baby website for about 6 months. In that six months, I wrote 72 articles. Those 72 articles were all about either pregnancy or having babies under 2. By the time I left that site, I was burned out and wracking my brain to figure out what to pitch for them next. I was starting to think of random topics and pitching 2 or 3 bad ideas based around the one topic. It got to be a huge pain. Pregnancy is something I know very well but there comes a time you can write too much about a topic and run out of ideas. Since this isn’t a pregnancy site, I don’t have to stick with writing about pregnancy.

Do you have a certain niche?

How did you decide- just an interest, business or hobby or did it fall into your lap once you started writing?

Posted on Leave a comment

My Dream Journal is Up For Sale

After talking about it and working on it for the past few months, my dream journal is up and ready.

In this, there is space to record your dreams along with descriptions of common themes. I’m already in the middle of working on a dictionary to go along with this and am hoping to release that out by the end of the year.

It’s 10.00 a copy, you can get it here.

Posted on 2 Comments

“I can’t keep plants alive”

I’ve heard that “argument” for not having kids a few times.

I have to ask, is that a true worry or is that one of the random “excuses” people feel they are forced to come up with when they don’t want kids (by the way, the only valid excuse should be “because I don’t want to have kids.” I’m sorry, but people should never be pressured or told they are selfish if they don’t want to have kids.

This question is coming from someone who has managed to keep 2 kids alive- for 8 years almost now (8 years next month for one and 3 years for number 2) but still managed to kill cacti and other “impossible to kill” plants. It’s so much easier to keep children and pets alive than it is to keep a plant alive, at least in my book.

With kids you just have to provide food, shelter, water/milk, teach safety and make sure they aren’t in dangerous situations.

With pets, it’s the same.

With plants- make sure the soil is perfect, the temperature and lighting is perfect and give them water- but not too much. That’s not enough… no! that’s too much… you just killed it.

Inside plants are the worst when you have cats. You can’t put something by the window, if you do, the cat will perch. With the cat perching, they will likely destroy the plant, make a mess and destroy the blinds.

Outside plants are a bit easier, until it rains and you end up with mud soup. You go outside in the morning after a hard rain and watch your flowers floating around your garden. Or you see huge bite marks in your sunflowers. Or your tomatoes are ate up.

I’ve had successful gardens a few times but more than once I’ve had unwanted visitors eating my plants and over watered succulents. Every year I’ll keep trying to keep plants alive, but I will always say- it’s much easier to keep kids alive than plants.

 

 

Posted on 6 Comments

The ever popular “Quarter life crisis”

I read about the quarter life crisis for the first time several years ago when I was trying to figure out if I was going through some sort of “mid life crisis” early. I found out about the concept that tends to start somewhere around your 25th year.

From the time I was young, I had things mapped out in my head-
By 25 I wanted
1. A college degree
2. To be started enough in a career I actually loved to be financially fully stable
3. A husband
4. To be finished with pregnancy and have 2 kids
5. Be a home owner and not renter

Our reality at 25
1. I had a beauty school license
2. I was a stay at home mom by necessity, we took our daughter out in public once after she came home from the NICU and ended up with a cold and in the PICU, so we couldn’t put her in care for a while
3. I did get married at 22, so I met that goal
4. I was pregnant with baby 2 when I was 25 but we lost her so we only had 1 living child. I was trying to come to terms with my older daughter being an only child.
5. We still rented the first home we moved into when we first got married.

Hell, even at 30 I’ve been unable to meet all those. I still can’t find a major I want to study but I am working on going back to school hopefully this year and we’re hoping to be able to get the first time home buyer’s loan this year, but

My reality at 31
1. Still can’t determine a degree I want to study and go in debt for- so I’m just not sure a 4 year is right for me. I’m a licensed skin therapist and looking at an LPN program (waiting for the test to get in to the program in March and have been reading through study material). I’m looking at several other programs as well at a couple other schools
2. I just left a retail part time job and before that, I worked in a salon. Both were stable- like, I wouldn’t lose the jobs but the paychecks weren’t stable. I’m currently looking around at job openings and writing/doing Etsy full time until I get to my next step
3. I’m still married, we’re going on 9 years so that never changed.
4. At 27, I had my last child- this pregnancy was healthy and she’s now a very hyper and healthy 3 year old.
5. We still rent and still live where we moved when we first got together. We’re just hoping next year we’ll be ready to buy.

I’m starting to get out of my quarter life crisis, (funny when you know a name). I’m still a Type A personality with no career to throw myself into and I’m still a workaholic type with no work to throw myself into- which is most of the reason I have this site, my Etsy and my writing. I have to have goals and something to focus that particular energy on- I also have gotten to the point over the years I can’t stand working under other peoples’ rules.

I’m also starting to notice that there is nothing I really want to go into major debt for that will promise a pay out. (4 year college)

I’m hoping I won’t be as stagnant in my 30s as i was in my 20s. I’m still completely unclear to the path I want to take but I am starting to accept that I’m not “young” anymore, but not old either. I guess I’m in the middle age- not middle aged but not young adult. I know I could easily pursue a higher degree and I could easily go back multiple times but for what? To go into debt and end up with lower earning potential? To work for someone else? Live by someone else’s rules?

 

Posted on Leave a comment

First Post of 2019

I’ll be posting more regularly again as it gets further into the year.

About 2-3 weeks ago, I got slammed on Etsy while slammed with my former day job. Since then, I finished all the orders on Etsy and I’m going into 2019 un-traditionally employed. I have a lot of plans for 2019 and on.

I’m in the middle of shutting 1 Etsy shop down and adding everything back into my main shop. My goal is to have over 200 items listed by 2020.

I’m also going to be kicking off the opening of this shop on here, it’s usable but my grand opening ended up going on at the same time as a huge event at my former day job- so it didn’t work out. I’ll be doing that, maybe when I release my next project.

I’m currently working on a guided dream journal that I’ll be releasing hopefully mid- to late January or Feburary. It will be a journal to record dreams with some tips on what details to remember.

I also have planned-

A pocket guide to the tarot

A pocket guide to Astrology (understanding the natal charts)

A guide to understanding dreams

I also have several fiction pieces I’m working on that I’ll be publishing.

Of course, not all these will be finished this year, but some will be.

 

I’m looking forward to taking my writing into 2019

Happy New Year to everyone. 🙂

Posted on 2 Comments

I have decided that on January 1st

I’m finally going to commit to the 30-60 day Whole30 diet.

As of right now, even sticking with strict gluten free, I’m right back to feeling sick all the time. I’m not sure if it’s dairy or if there is something else I’m now sensitive to but the Whole30 is the best way to find out from what I can see.

I have failed multiple times, but I’m sure I should be able to commit to 1 simple month of whole foods. I have checked out so many recipes, it will just involve making my own birthday cake since my birthday is in January.

 

I just signed up for a holiday HIIT 3 days a week program. HIIT workouts have always been my favorites and with some really busy weeks, the 15-17 minute workouts should be feasible. My two year old has enjoyed joining me doing the Stronger workouts (livestrong website) and she’ll love joining these as well. I’m not trying to set any kind of New Years Resolutions, those are never kept, I just prefer starting things on the first of the month- it’s easier to track progress.

Posted on Leave a comment

I’m 2 months from turning 31

And while I don’t feel different, per se, I am looking at trying to look more “grown up.” I do not agree with the “how to dress in your 30s,” or “clothing to give up in your 30s” articles I have read, I am trying to lean more towards looking more put together and less sloppy. Most of what I wear are baggier shirts, mostly along the lines of shirts from events I have attended, charities, businesses or bands I listen to.

I don’t want to give up my band tees and I like advertising the charities and businesses but I feel sloppy. I do know there is truth to feeling better and more put together when you dress nicer.

30 wasn’t as bad as my mind made it feel but it did push me to reevaulate my life a bit, since I’m no longer college age.

It’s had me decide I’m wanting to start taking more small trips in state and out, write more and stop procrastinating since I missed my goal of having the one book I’m working on published by 30. I’m not sure what I was thinking, I remember turning 20 from 19- was no different, same with the “magical” age of 21.

I guess it just feels weird going from one bracket to the next- but feeling no different. I found some old pictures of what I looked like when my husband and I met and I look almost exctly the same- barely aged between now and 8-10 years ago.

Posted on Leave a comment

This past week has been crazy

Since leaving my job, I have been working on my Nano project- which turned into a short story I will be putting out somehow when I get it finished and a novel I am wanting to self publish when I get it finished. I have decided that, instead of trying the traditional route, I’m going to go ahead and self publish. I’m still looking into the different platforms but I still have time.

On top of that, I’m trying to prepare Bethcessories for the holidays- including my first print advertisement for local business. My word count for Nano is suffering, but my businesses are picking up right now. I guess you always have to sacrifice one thing for another. In the very near future, I’m going to be working more on my DIYmommy page, I’m trying to come up with a good domain for it since DIY mommy is taken. I want this to be different from this website but I’m not sure what to name it.

Posted on Leave a comment

What’s your passion?

“What’s your passion?” It’s a phrase asked by a lot of different counselors and coaches but how many people truly know what their real passion is? What exactly does passion mean? Does everyone have at least something they’re truly passionate about and can you have more than one if it’s truly a passion?

I read a status a friend posted recently and it had me thinking about the subject. My husband was really obsessed with computers when we met- until taking a class and burning out. He has also been into cars as long as I knew him. The difference was that he took a course in mechanics and is now working on cars professionally as well as for friends and family on the side and our cars and still far from burned out. He’ll swear up and down it’s not, but he is passionate about cars. He talks nonstop about cars. loves car shows and cars are his life. I always envied that. I have had friends who grew up super obsessed with stuff and now they are living it. The hobbies are now in their careers and those hobbies are enmeshed in their lives.

A passion is more than an interest, you can easily burn out from doing something you’re interested in too much. You can burn out or find out you’re not as interested in something like you first thought. If you’re passionate about something, truly passionate, you will never burn out. You could spend your whole life doing it and do it 20 hours a day and you’ll still want to do it. It could be a mechanic who goes home to work on his own car or play video games where he fixes cars or the make up artist who spends their free time studying make up techniques and practicing 24/7. It could be music, sports, dancing, a hobby that isn’t a career but you want it to be a career or you could be lucky and have it as your career.

Passion gives you motivation to get through the day, to wake up and get to work. You will never get tired of it like you do everything else and if you do manage to make it into a career, you will never work a day in your life. Passion is what it takes to truly succeed, you just have to find it. Everyone has the ability to find their passion, some have more than one but most haven’t fully realized it.

To find it, just look at every job you have held, everything you have burned out on and everything you love doing. You will likely find one thing you dream of doing and one thing you’re able to see yourself doing for years to come without it getting old.

After years of looking, I finally found mine- what’s yours? Can you pinpoint what your true passion is?