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Looking back through my life I am learning

I just left my second longest job.

2 1/2 years and I left.

I enjoyed working there and I’ll miss my coworkers, but I needed to move on.

As I’ve been applying for jobs and working on leaving my comfort zone, I have had some job apps asking for my full employment history. It had me going through and recounting and made me realize something. I have burned out on nearly everything but two stay in my mind.

Skincare and writing. My first job was in high school. It was my longest running job and only ended because I went to college. It gave me a firm love of writing articles. I loved pitching, researching, interviewing and writing. I loved taking the pictures for the articles and attending the meetings. I loved everything about it.

Back in 2011, I was looking at a website devoted to 30 day challenges where I ran across NANOWRIMO which quickly became my favorite month. It gave me a fierce obsession with writing and as soon as I finished the rough draft of my first, inspiration quickly hit me and I started a new draft. Then another.

The first was my first win and so far, only, but I have planned and started yearly since. This year will be my 7th year doing it and will be my second win. I have a finished rough draft of a short story from a few years ago and am planning the next several in the series. Once I get all 7 finished, I’m planning on publishing the full short story series and releasing it.

I read a lot about finding and following your passion and finally realized I found mine a long time ago. I’m a big advocate of following your passion, I guess now is a better time than never for me to listen to myself.

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Last Night I Also Decided to Start a Blog Specifically About Dreams and Divination/Astrology/Numerology

dreamsanddivinations.wordpress.com

I also remembered an old Wix site I started years ago but kind of stopped and it didn’t get nearly the views I get on here, so I deleted it and am moving all the dream blogs to this page. I’ll be doing daily divinations, stuff about dreams and all that.

 

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This coming June I’m taking my first ever paid vacation from work

Since I’ll have a full week off, I have decided that the month of June I am going to try to do one post a day and come up with either 1 post or one article to submit to a magazine or blog every day through June.

Coming up with ideas shouldn’t be too difficult.

I have 11 more days in this month and I’ll be brainstorming topics (privately) and I’ll try to come up with 30 varied posts.

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When I lost you

When I lost you, not only did I lose getting to know a person. I also lost hopes and dreams for the future. I lost everything I drempt you would be and every potential achievement you could have made. I lost a tiny hand in my hand and a chance to be your mommy.

I lost seeing you smile, hearing you talk, hearing you laugh and picking you up when you fell.

I always wonder if you would be more like your daddy or me. Would you look like a mix of both of us or favor one more?

Would you be an artist, athlete or studious? Would you prefer cats or dogs?

Would you be girly like your sisters or the tomboy of the group? What would your favorite flower be? Favorite color?

What would your personality be like? Would you love or hate school?

When I lost you I have so many questions I will never know the answer to and I will never get to experience.

When you died, so did those hopes and dreams for the future. Your future. My future as your mommy and our future as a family

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Dream Journal Template I Created

This is a digital download I created to serve as a template to record your own dreams and help with analyzing.

Download one time and you can print as many pages as you need to create your own journal. The template is for one dream, no need to repurchase for each additional dream. It’s meant for personal/private use only. If you want it for commercial use, please contact me and we can work it out.

https://www.etsy.com/NewAgeDreamChick/listing/498483970/dream-interpretation-detailed-dream-pdf?utm_source=Copy&utm_medium=ListingManager&utm_campaign=Share&utm_term=so.lmsm&share_time=1523678550430

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Dream Meanings Part 3- Kissing and Sex

I have had people ask me questions about dreams that really bothered them in the past. In the dream, they were kissing a member of the same sex whom they admired and at times it had them questioning their sexuality.

Dreams about kissing (or sex) typically do not mean you’re actually attracted to the person you’re kissing in a sexual way. There are several ways they can be interpreted and those are primarily based on the person and their relationship to you.

KISSING

Kissing a member of the same sex whom you are close to in real life typically shows a part of them you are wanting to take on yourself. Either you admire an aspect of their personality or physical appearance and wish to take that trait on yourself. That trait is usually a major topic in the dream itself.

Kissing a member of the same sex whom you do not know in waking life typically is similar but it can also show a part of you that you are just now accepting. That trait or aspect to your being will be the main focus of your relationship to the woman/man in the dream.

Kissing a member of the opposite sex when you’re in a relationship (hetero standpoint)- This usually shows some trait in a person you wish your significant other would show. It could be as simple as you wanting him to shave a mustache or beard or wanting her to grow her hair longer, or it could be a personality trait. Once again, it’s based on what the main focus of the dream is- the first thing that attracts you to the person you’re kissing.

Kissing a member of the opposite sex when you’re single- this usually is showing you what you want in a partner.

 

SEX

Sex is usually considered a taboo topic in dreams. It can mean that you have gone too long and are needing the release, but sex in dreams usually means acceptance, passion, (even anger). It is a strong topic, strong feeling and usually is also signaling a release of some kind.

If you are having sex with a member of the same sex, it is showing you’re in full acceptance of your self- whatever trait shows strongest in the dream is the trait you hold that you are finally accepting. It’s very similar to kissing.

A popular subject is having sex with someone you absolutely dislike (or even hate) in waking life- in this case, it’s a release of anger towards the person and the passionate (negative) strong emotions you feel about the person. Sexual dreams are a release- they are releasing fear, anxiety, anger, hostility or other negatives- this is not saying you’re going to wake up and feel great about the person, just that you’re one step closer to healing.

Dreaming about having sex with an ex is another common dream that makes people second guess feelings for the person. In some cases, it can be memories or it could mean you’re still heavily attracted to the person but most of the time it’s releasing negative emotions surrounding the break up and releasing the attachment you have towards the person. It can show

*Even though this is written from a hetero perspective, it can also be true if you’re lesbian or gay- the same sex meanings will hold true since most of the time it’s like looking into the mirror of your true self*

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Dream Meanings- Part 2

This is going to be the second part of my series on dream meanings. As of right now, there is no actual time line of when new dream posts will be coming out and there is no set number.

My first post was written a little while ago and was an introduction to my studies. This episode will be discussing recurrent dreams.

This won’t be a long post, recurrent dreams have one main point- they are your subconscious trying to convey a message to you. They are the dreams you may be haunted with for years- or even decades but once you find the true meaning of the dream, it will usually go away.

I’m actually trying to find a way to go into more detail about this but recurrent dreams are simple- ignore and they will keep coming back but if you decide to find the meaning, it’s normally the only way to get them to go away.

They are either trying to tell you something or teach you something- either way, if it’s been recurring, you need to listen.

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Meaning of Dreams- Part 1

Since I have been studying dreams, dreaming and dream interpretation for over 20 years I have a broad knowledge. I am working on coming up with a dream interpretation workbook and dream analysis journal. I also interpret dreams on Etsy and I’m hoping in the next year or two I’ll be ready to move to a private website (dream interpretation and tarot)

One thing I stress to people when I’m talking to them about dreams is that all symbols may mean different thigns to different people. Three may represent a family unit or a “love triangle” but it could also have a deeply personal meaning- depending on the the dreamer. The entire dream needs to be looked at and analyzed in order to gain a full understanding of the meaning but one thing is certain- if you remember a dream, it has some kind of meaning. There is no real supernatural aspect- dreams are normally our subconscious working on trying to figure something out, work through a problem or even letting us know there is something very wrong (either with a situation or health).

Lucid dreaming is a strange dreaming method that can help when you learn how to do it.

Once you master lucid dreaming, you can test out different scenarios to see different possible outcomes. Lucid dreaming is where your conscious wakes up in the middle of the dream- you’re aware you’re dreaming and have actual control over what you do but you’re still asleep. It has taken me years, but I have learned- I can’t always but there have been a few times I have been able to figure things out by lucid dreaming and it has helped me get through tough decisions.

There are tons of resources out there- all giving similar but different interpretations- there seem to be as many interpretations as there are interpreters- but no one person is 100% correct. Those of us whom have studied for years are able to guide you through the interpretation and we can help you see the truth in the dream, but the best person to interpret your dream is you. Over time, I have developed a template dream analysis- the same I use to interpret other peoples’ dreams. I am currently working on a dream dictionary I hope to publish and a dream journal to help people discover how they can read into their dreams.

However, when you do work on interpreting dreams, sometimes the subject can be too close. That’s why there are guides, interpreters and the resources to help. If something is too close to you, you will not be able to see clear. Your own hopes, doubts and fears can get in the way of the meaning. That’s why everyone who tries to figure out the meanings to their dreams ends up having to find some resource- if it’s a book, blog, interpreter or anything else.

In this series, I’ll be talking about the uses dreams have, different subjects (by category), popular dream themes and any other subjects that come across my mind.

I’ll also answer any questions anyone has about dreaming. I have been studying for 22 years now, interpret on Etsy for profit and have been interpreting my own (and friends’) dreams for decades.

 

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New Home Decoration Line Coming out

Right now, my focus is on holiday and daily themed decorative pillows but I’m working on adding. One of these days I’m planning on it being a full decor line complete with blankets, quilts, washcloths, towels, curtains, signs and in the very distant future- wooden furniture. Right now, it’s decorative pillows and candles. I started toying with this a few years ago with hats (still sell), earrings (discontinued), scarves (have a few left for sale but discontinued- will take one order a year due to the amount of time they take to make)

https://www.etsy.com/shop/BethcessoriesDesign

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I also have a tarot/dream interretation shop that has my candles and most of my current holiday decorative pillows- but the pillows will be removed from this shop and put back in the old shop when they expire.

This is my main (oldest) shop

https://www.etsy.com/shop/newagedreamchick

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How do you find your true passion?

From the time I was 7 until I was 18, I wanted to be a professional vocalist. I didn’t even care about the genre- I wanted to sing. I have been classicly trained. I have also taken dance and I’m trained in acting. After I hit 18 (and started smoking), I realized I just wasn’t being realistic. I knew back then I needed to get an education in something practical, but what seems practical also seems like something that would burn me out quickly.

When I was a young child I was told I started singing before I even spoke. My whole world revolved around music and basketball. I always had my Walkman in, was in chorus in elementary school and even took vocal classes. I also tried “strings” (violin) but was told I had musical dyslexia (I read the music backwards). I also didn’t get along with my instructor very well. I tried out for all school plays and won one of the lead roles in fourth grade. Unfortunately, I had to share the role with another student and she got the solo I wanted, but I got a duet so I did get to sing. I did all talent shows I had a chance to do and was always singing for family and classmates. I also played the drums in the school band in sixth grade but gave that up as well. I still loved doing it, just wasn’t a fan of the other people in the group. My senior year of high school, I went on stage at the talent show and forgot the words. I literally walked off stage (they thought I was doing a comedy thing and had no idea it was actually the most humiliating moment of my life). After that, I started having problems performing. I would blank when I saw the crowd and quit even singing around other people. At the end of my senior year, my classmates voted me “best entertainer” and “most likely to be a teen idol.” I was also pretty well known, even though I didn’t have many friends.

For a good part of my life, I also wanted to work in the fashion industry. I wanted to model but stopped growing and was only 5’5” but was also too fat to be able to get into it. I read a lot of fashion magazines and dreamt about writing for them- I thought being a writer for Vogue would be a dream. I was interested in design but my cousin went into interior design and couldn’t find a job. I thought fashion design seemed like fun as well but can’t draw. I always had in the back of my mind how much I love writing and was constantly praised on it. In high school, I wrote for the paper and everyone who knew me would search out my articles. More than a few said they expected to see my name as one of the writers in the paper. I also wrote for the literary magazine in high school and the newspaper in college. I loved being involved in those publications but I knew, realistically, someone like me would be a longshot and likely fail so I gave those dreams up before I let them play out in my head. One of my favorite pass times as a child (and teen/adult) was walking around on Sundays and walking in open houses. I collected house papers and wanted to work as a real estate agent.

I was given a Little Tykes basketball hoop when I was three years old. It moved up to a normal hoop in our driveway as I got older. I played daily at home and would play at church with the middle, high school and college age guys. I hated if they gave me an easy time because I was a younger female. Luckily for me, most didn’t. I got to the point I would shoot one hundred shots a day- and I’d count the number I made so I could figure my accuracy (I got up to a 95-99% accuracy by high school) but I never played at school. I did play for the YMCA for several seasons, I also played soccer, baseball, tee-ball and I dd try out for the tennis team in middle school. I had exercise induced asthma that wasn’t caught, so my teachers always thought I was lazy when I’d quit running laps. For years, I wanted to be the “first woman in the NBA.” When I learned about the WNBA, I watched a bit but slowly lost interest. I never liked playing with other women, it didn’t challenge me as well as I wanted it to and I was afraid of hurting someone. By middle school, when I started meeting women I wasn’t afraid of hurting, I had lost interest in playing on a school team even though a lot of the other parents at my mom and dad’s church thought I’d be capable of getting a scholarship to college.

In high school, I took theater and was in the theater program the whole time they had it (unfortunately, it was during my senior year when they started). Once again, I absolutely loved going to the rehearsals, practicing and then performing. I didn’t have a lead role but I really acted out the scenes I did have. Back in high school, I did everything I could to make people laugh- even if it was at me and not with me.

When I was in high school, we had to choose majors. I chose business, although I wanted to choose writing. While I was studying the business classes, I loved the idea of working for yourself. I even enjoyed my accounting courses. I got the chance to go to a free enterprise camp where they chose the “most promising” male and female business students. I got a full scholarship to the camp and the teachers pooled together and gave me spending money for the canteen. I fell in love with the camp. At the camp, we were put in small groups and ran through the stages of starting up businesses. I always chose to create the advertisements since at the time I was interested in the marketing aspect of business. I went to college the year I graduated and started my major in communications with an interest in broadcast journalism. The main communications 101 class I took was deliberately held at 8am. It was the only option and we had to have the class to progress in the major. I ended up kicked out for literally leaning my head against the wall (I didn’t fall asleep but was accused of sleeping) so I had to choose a different major. I chose marketing. I ended up dropping after the second semester. I was able to get back in (was booted for a year on academic suspension) and they lifted financial aid suspension. I had everything set up two times to go back. One year I even had my schedule selected but both times financial aid fell through. Both times, I was torn between what I wanted to major in (writing) and what was realistic (something that would guarantee me a job at a hopefully livable income). I was constantly torn. I would decide to go back, then the next week I would already have a different major in my mind. Needless to say, it’s been ten years and I still haven’t gone back. I’m actually no closer to making my mind up since.

As a way to gain access to the fashion industry, I did go back to school (beauty school) and studied skin care/cosmetics. I wanted to vecome a make up artist and hopefully get a job behind the scenes one day (in the distant future) during one of the shows during fashion week. Fashion week is a dream for me. Either LA or NYC, I would love to get the opportunity to attend. My dream of being a model ended over a decade ago, close to two, but the dreams I had of either writing for a fashion magazine or working as a designer or artist never fully burned out. I know I’d be miserable as a model, but behind the scenes is a different story. The Devil Wears Prada is still one of my favorite movies and I would love to get my hands on a copy of the season of Running in Heels that made me a huge Marie Claire Magazine fan. Now, I’ve moved on to reading HGTV, parenting and BHG magazine (and similar). I’m more interested in reading lifestyle parenting blogs than I am fashion blogs and I still have several magazine subscriptions.

I’m hoping in the near future, I’ll be able to see one of my long time dreams come true. I have a finished rough draft of a fantasy novel. It’s 100 pages and I call it my baby. Thanks to procrastination, I have 3 or 4 short story drafts I’m currently working on. One is 11 pages, will be part of a seven part short story fantasy series, I have 2 rough drafts started for 2 other fantasy novels, 1 sci-fi graphic novel started (but I have no artistic abilities so I’m stuck) and there is a card game I designed to go with that. Confidence is a big issue for me. I am so close to finishing several works, but I’m terrified of failing. I have been doing things I know I’ll be rejected from as a way to get used to rejection (I submitted a tossed together article to a website.

I’ve had too many interests. I consider myself a jack of all trades (master of none). I will go through phases where I’m seriously interested in doing things, then I’d lose interest. Then, I would gain the interest again. I call myself a burn out since I’m always burning out. I’ve been working in retail for years, my current job, about 2. It’s my longest job by over a year now. I love my coworkers and I don’t mind what I do, the benefits are pretty good and it’s a reliable pay check but I always wanted to do something both professional and creative. I’m currently selling decorative pillows and I do online tarot reading and dream interpretation on the side.

My husband just graduated Friday. He started with an interest in computer repair, started a course then burned out. He later returned to a different school and just graduated the auto tech course. I envy him. He always had those two interests- cars and computers. He didn’t have a long list of things he loved then ruled out although he did start a four year, like I did, but he was studying radio broadcasting then lost interest.

I read a lot of blogs, articles and I keep reading to go into something you’re passionate about. How do you find something you’re truly passionate about? Something that won’t fade? I am 30 years old now and no closer to knowing what professional career I want than I was at 18. I have a bunch of things ruled out- but nothing to go on. I have to ask, how do you find that one thing you’re passionate about?