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Three year olds say some of the funniest things

My three year old has my imagination. She is always someone different.

Yesterday, she was Doc McStuffins and I was her patient.

“You have a bleed on your cheek. When your cheek has a bleed on it, I’ll get some cheek paste for the bleed.”

She got sick one day, I’m guessing from drinking too much soy milk before her meal. She threw up in the restaurant and asked my mom “what is that? That’s not my favorite thing.”

I guess it’s good to know that throwing up isn’t her favorite.

Another time, I got glutened. We went out to eat when it kicked in (almost exactly 12 hours later) and I was sitting in the restaurant crying unable to move or sit still. She had to run over and inform the waitress mommy was sick, then she had to tell every single customer that we walked past that mommy was sick.

She has also announced to all of Walmart that “that milk is diarrhea” or “that juice is diarrhea”

She is learning and she now verifying with me if food is “diarrhea” or safe and is doing a good job avoiding “diarrhea’ foods.

 

What are some of the funnier things your young kids have said?

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I finally figured out the secret to a clean house

Lock the husband and kids out. Maybe all of us can go live somewhere else and just sleep on the beds.

I think that’s the only way I’ll keep my house clean for now…

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Rules of my home

No matter how old you are or who you are, nobody is to lick the cat

There will be no throwing of chairs or any other objects at the cat

The cat is to be pet on demand and fed every time someone goes into the kitchen. The cat food is FOR the cat, it is not meant for human consumption.

No licking windows

No licking walls

No licking anything

These are the rules for all whom enter my home, no exceptions- even the tiny people who live here.

I never thought I would have those rules until I had kids… I never even thought I would have to say “dont lick the cat.”

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You Know You’re A Parent When…

You and your husband are the only ones awake and you announce you need to potty.

You put the kids in bed hours ago but Disney/Nick Jr is still playing in the background

You have rules such as- 1. No licking the cat. 2. No licking the door. 3. No licking your sister and 4. No throwing objects at the cat.

You know the pain of stepping on a Shopkinz toy (hurts worse than a Lego)

You have to buy a new vacuum almost annually due to overuse.

Your shampooer is constantly out and running.

You have random stains in your mattress, mattress pad, couch and chairs- you’re not sure what they are but you know it’s food.