Attraction Series

Difference Between Twin Flame, Life Partner and Soul Mate

Every romantic wants to meet their “soul mate,” fall in love, settle down and start a life with that one person. There are many people that say they are married to their one true soul mate but there are misconceptions on the concept of soul mate. A soul mate is not necessarily the person you settle down with. It can be a child, a friend, parent or other close family member or a member of your preferred gender. It can be someone you end up marrying but there are other types of people who come in and out of our lives.

Some people have heard the term “twin flame” tossed around and some may have heard “life partner” but what do they mean? No one has just one soul mate, but people do have just one twin flame.

What is a Soul Mate?

A soul mate is a person put in your life to make a difference- to teach you something. It may or may not be the one you marry. (life partner is a different concept and you typically settle down with your life partner and not a soul mate)

A soul mate doesn’t have to be someone you’re romantically attracted to- it can be a family member, friend, partner or just a stranger you have a conversation with.


What is a “Twin Flame?”

The concept of the twin flame is the second half of your soul. In some belief systems, the soul was split in half and people spend their whole live(s) searching for the second half. THe second half is also reincarnated in the same timeframe and they can come into each other’s lives, but it’s rare.

When the twin flames meet, the feelings are intense and it’s like being with another version of yourself. You feel complete with them and you feel like you have known them for forever. Some times, these relationships are too intense to last but you will always remember them, even if you have a falling out, you will miss them.

It is said that you can both be on opposite ends of the world and if you meet yours, there is a good chance your soul is ready. When twin flames meet prior to being truly ready, the intensity of the relationship can be too strong and that will be what makes the relationship go up in flames.


What is a life partner?

A life partner is the one you end up settling down with. This relationship progresses slower and unlike with a soul mate or the twin flame, the feelings don’t get as intense. They give you a stability and a close feeling, you will feel comfortable and close. You won’t care as much around them because you’re confident that they will continue to be with you regardless of how you look at your worst. This partnership will make the best marriage. You won’t be afraid of being your most vulnerable, you will want to open up and you will want them in your life in a permanent spot.

Attraction Series · dream/divination

I’m thinking about New Years already. I’m not one to really make resolutions, but I do start things on the first of the month to easily track things.

Years ago, I did a tarot reading for myself for my year and the reading told me what month I was going to meet my husband, the month we got married and when my daughter was conceived. Since then, I do a yearly reading for myself and now I offer it in person or online.

I also offer it here.

I have some plans for the website, an ebook I’m hoping to publish and some major plans for Bethcessories. (originally here)

This week, I’m barely able to think- my work has me out daily until Christmas Eve, so I got the Christmas cookies baked today and I’m going to go ahead and say

Merry Christmas!!

Attraction Series

Physical Attraction Vs Attraction (part 1 of the series)

I was reading an article saying that no one wants to admit to being unattractive so that makes it harder to fight bias.

Conventional attractiveness has different definitions in different countries and cultures, but not everyone can fit that definition. If people can’t all fit, that means there is a group of people out there who are not attractive. There are also people who don’t care about attractiveness so they have no issues with saying they aren’t attractive- but when someone says that aloud, they get jumped on and corrected.

If you had to choose between intelligence or attractiveness- which would you choose? Same with attractiveness and personality?

They aren’t exclusive- you can easily be all three, but how important is being conventionally attractive in the grand scheme of things? If you’re a model or a related career, it will matter- but it will be short lived since they always want young. After that, how are you going to use your looks? Are you going to spend millions on surgery to upkeep? Would you need to spend millions in order to continue being attractive to your partner?

Most people age- and with aging comes losing that attractiveness so if your only focus is on your appearance, it will do you no good. Most people who grow up less than attractive have to make it up in other areas- intelligence, personality, sense of humor. I am not saying you cannot have a great personality and be attractive, but over compensating does make those traits stand out more.

I did an informal survey of my friends on Facebook and overwhelmingly, personality and intelligence beat physical attraction (intelligence was 100% and personality was all but 1)

Is attractiveness purely physical?

When the attraction stops at physical, it gets boring. If you have no common interests, they have no interests or redeeming personality traits- the attraction will wane. It’s said we are attracted to more than physical- confidence, personality and holding interesting conversations are all parts of why we are attracted to who we are. There are also biological () that attract us to certain people we are biologically compatible with- for primal reproductive reasons. It’s similar to why wide hips and larger breasts are seen as attractive- the breasts nourish newborn babies and hips are an indication of reproductive abilities/fertility and health. Men are naturally born to be protectors and women are drawn to more fit men (biologically) because they are seen as able to protect. Of course, there are men who are skinnier and women who are not built in the biologically attractive way and they still find love. It may be that since we no longer need to produce offspring like we used to, those tendencies are starting to evolve and we aren’t following those instincts any more (plus, we can reason much more than animals) (the evolving thing is MY theory, not a fact I read anywhere)

Is “Conventional Attractiveness” truly ideal?

Conventional is pretty much different in all cultures- in the US culture it’s seen as tanned, blonde, long legs, skinny and tall- think nearly any model but what about people of other races? They can dye their hair blonde, but some seem to hold fat in different places. I was reading about how it’s unfair to other races to use those standards- and it’s not but it’s also pointless. Those standards may or may not even be wanted when it comes to long term relationships. Most models aren’t naturally like that, that’s why they look so sick. I was studying up on the fashion industry and they said they don’t even choose attractive models because models are walking hangers- they want the model to be plain so the clothes stand out. The models themselves follow strict workout routines as well as different methods of starvation (including the cotton ball diet- one of the more disturbing trends) but the sizes they are are hardly healthy.

The hourglass shape tends to be the most wanted- slim waist, curvy hips and breasts and smaller stomach. There is also a method that was developed that rates attractiveness of the face by symmetry.

There may be theories to the science behind what makes people attractive physically, but there will always be personal preference and chemistry in other ways- it’s all subjective.


This is only number 1 in my attraction mini-series. I’ll be posting more