Attraction Series

Did I Meet My Twin Flame?

Meeting the twin flame is a very strong connection. Stronger than any other connection you feel with any other person. People often dream about meeting theirs and others find, in retrospect, they did meet theirs but the relationship ran its course and went down in flames. So, how do you know if you meet your twin flame? There are a number of ways to tell.

You’ll think you met your fe/male version and it will feel like you’ve known them forever

Now, the twin flame is the second half of your soul. That means you will meet the person who not only completes you but is like the male/female version of you.

You will feel like you’re meeting yourself- your same messed up sense of humor? They likely will either share it or not be put off by it. You will feel a natural connection with them- it will feel like you have known them much longer than you actually have. Both of those are related- because you both will be so much alike that it will be a natural chemistry. That’s why it can be difficult to hold on to them. The connection is so intense that you will move fast and you will both keep the chemistry for a long time.

You will feel natural with them

You will likely have this connection with others as well, but you will never feel insecure around them. You will feel naturally at ease and it’ll feel like no matter what, you can be yourself. You will want to be around them and they will want to be around you and you will be able to feel that they will accept you no matter what.

They will push you to really grow

The whole concept of meeting this person is internal growth. You will want to grow as a person and they will want to see you grow. They will be by your side while you’re doing it and you will both be on the same page. You will grow with them and they will have you to lean on during the rough times, and you can lean on them during those times as well.

Growth will come naturally

This relationship is what helps you grow as a person, so it will naturally come to you when you’re with this person. They will challenge you and you will challenge them and both of you will experience a lot of personal growth during your time together. This is also why the relationships don’t always work out. Personal growth is a very important part of this relationship, so it’s not always meant to be a lasting relationship and you can be just as happy with a soul mate as you can with your twin flame (although the twin flame will always come to mind, it doesn’t always have to be romantically and you can learn to be happy in other relationships)

You can never stay mad

You will fight, argue but you can never stay mad at each other for long. You will find that you forgive this person much easier than other people and you both will make up every time you argue.

You’re both highly spiritual and have a spiritual connection

You both are driven to a higher spirituality. You both are wanting to grow and you’re wanting to grow together. The twin flame will come into your life when you’re going to be going through a higher phase of growth, so they will come in and push you to really come to the life you’re needing to come to.

They will truly get you

Since you’re both so similar, they will quickly grow to know you better than anyone else in your life. They will understand you and why you work the way you work. They will truly get you and you will truly get them. You both will know each other so well, you may find yourselves finishing each others’ sentences and you will just feel understood.

You’re both on the same wave length

You both will feel the same energetic connection. You will show the same or similar energies.

You are a better person with them

They will make you want to be the best version of yourself that you can be. You will find that you are the best version of yourself when they are around.



There are many ways to speculate if someone is your twin flame, but if you feel someone is yours but they don’t feel the same, they likely aren’t. If they are, there will be no doubt about it. It doesn’t mean you have to be with them as romantic partners, not all twin flames are meant to share their whole lives together, but some are. Some are meant to come into your life and bring on personal growth then leave. They will leave a lasting impact on you no matter how long they are in your life.


Attraction Series

Can You Find Your Twin Flame? How to find either a soul mate or your twin flame

Most people say they dream about meeting their soulmate, what they really want to meet is their twin flame. A soul mate is meant to teach you a lesson in life, while the twin flame is the second half of your soul. You have many soul mates that come and go from your life while you only ever have one twin flame. Is there a way to speed up meeting your twin flame?

The big thing is that you have to be ready. You have to know that you are ready to meet the one. One of the best things to do is to get the past pain out of your mind. Remember that you were hurt in the past, yes, but this new person is not the one who hurt you.

Once you accept that not every man (or woman) who has come into your life is going to hurt you. You were hurt by one particular individual (which wasn’t meant to be “the one”) and you need to accept that not everyone is the same then you will meet the person you’re meant to spend your life with.

Nothing is guaranteed. Lives are lost daily and people are left, even at the alter. Not every relationship is meant to be forever, but all relationships are meant to be for that time.

You need to have your mind open to meeting the one. You need to be open to allowing yourself to open up. You have to open yourself to the possibility of being hurt. If you really want to love someone you have to be open to it.

You cannot truly love if you can’t let go of the past. It’s not fair to future partners if you go into each relationship feeling like they’re going to hurt you. To really be ready to meet your twin flame without crashing, your soul has to be ready. You have to know deep down in your heart that you are ready to settle down and be with one person for the rest of your life.

If you feel you’re ready, read on for some ideas and tips to meeting the one.

Spellwork to Meet Your Ideal Partner

There is a simple spell you can do to attract what you want. This worked for me and we have been married for almost 12 years now. I didn’t mean to do this spell, but I did remember after some time.

I took a piece of paper and wrote down every quality I could think of- I went as deep as what the man looked like, music he would listen to and interests. I wrote everything I could think of down on paper and marked the deal breakers. I then kept the piece of paper in a safe location but you also could burn the paper- burning gets your intention out in the air faster, while keeping it on you can help keep it close.

Just two days later, I met the man who fit the whole description literally walking down the street and we were inseparable for years. We have two kids and have built a life together. He truly is my twin flame.

Meditation Method to Become Ready

Another method to meeting a soul mate (or even your twin flame) is to do deep work on yourself. There is no spell or ritual to meet this person- you have to be ready. Make sure you’re truly ready to meet the one.

Clear your mind and heart of past hurt and work to heal from the broken hearts of the past. Trust that all the failed relationships are building you up to truly finding the one you’re meant to be with so that when you find this person, you will appreciate it. You will learn from past pain and appreciate the way this person makes you feel.

Make sure you’re truly open to meeting someone new. Do a few meditations over the course of several months.

Do a meditation to clear your heart chakra. Make sure you don’t have a blockage. Do a meditation to heal your heart. When you do that meditation, clear your mind of the pain from your latest break up. Clear your mind of the pain of the worst heartbreak. Take everything people have ever said to you- if anyone ever told you you’re too picky or you will never find someone who will love you like they did. Wipe those thoughts away. Remember that all relationships that fail are building up to the one you’re meant to be in.

They fail because they’re not meant to be. Once you do meet that person, you will need a clear heart. You will need the child like innocence you had when you entered your first relationship. You will need to see that person through the eyes you had when you first fell “in love” with the first person who hurt you. They need to see that excitement and vulnerability because it will be real.

Clear all negative thoughts out of your mind and make sure you’re truly open to letting someone come in. You will never meet your twin flame (or worse, it will crash and burn) until you’re truly ready to allow them to come in. If you’re not ready, it will burn too intense and you will find that you are not ready.

You will need to be ready to give the relationship your all if you want to meet and be with your twin flame.


There is no secret spell or magical way to attract your twin flame but with a cleared heart and the true, burning desire, you will make it more likely to meet him/her. You need to prepare and heal your own hurt, heartache and heartbreak in order to really find that one person who truly completes you. A soul mate will provide a strong connection. The twin flame will make you complete. The twin flame will feel like someone you have known your whole life and you have likely crossed paths with throughout your lives.

You may find they are in and out of your life, but you’re always ready to forgive and move on. They help you grow and they grow with you. When you finally meet them, you will be ready to grow on a new level, even if they aren’t with you forever in this life, you will continue to think about them and potentially talk to them and when the time is right, you might end up with them.


Attraction Series

Difference Between Twin Flame, Life Partner and Soul Mate

Every romantic wants to meet their “soul mate,” fall in love, settle down and start a life with that one person. There are many people that say they are married to their one true soul mate but there are misconceptions on the concept of soul mate. A soul mate is not necessarily the person you settle down with. It can be a child, a friend, parent or other close family member or a member of your preferred gender. It can be someone you end up marrying but there are other types of people who come in and out of our lives.

Some people have heard the term “twin flame” tossed around and some may have heard “life partner” but what do they mean? No one has just one soul mate, but people do have just one twin flame.

What is a Soul Mate?

A soul mate is a person put in your life to make a difference- to teach you something. It may or may not be the one you marry. (life partner is a different concept and you typically settle down with your life partner and not a soul mate)

A soul mate doesn’t have to be someone you’re romantically attracted to- it can be a family member, friend, partner or just a stranger you have a conversation with.


What is a “Twin Flame?”

The concept of the twin flame is the second half of your soul. In some belief systems, the soul was split in half and people spend their whole live(s) searching for the second half. THe second half is also reincarnated in the same timeframe and they can come into each other’s lives, but it’s rare.

When the twin flames meet, the feelings are intense and it’s like being with another version of yourself. You feel complete with them and you feel like you have known them for forever. Some times, these relationships are too intense to last but you will always remember them, even if you have a falling out, you will miss them.

It is said that you can both be on opposite ends of the world and if you meet yours, there is a good chance your soul is ready. When twin flames meet prior to being truly ready, the intensity of the relationship can be too strong and that will be what makes the relationship go up in flames.


What is a life partner?

A life partner is the one you end up settling down with. This relationship progresses slower and unlike with a soul mate or the twin flame, the feelings don’t get as intense. They give you a stability and a close feeling, you will feel comfortable and close. You won’t care as much around them because you’re confident that they will continue to be with you regardless of how you look at your worst. This partnership will make the best marriage. You won’t be afraid of being your most vulnerable, you will want to open up and you will want them in your life in a permanent spot.

Attraction Series · dream/divination

I’m thinking about New Years already. I’m not one to really make resolutions, but I do start things on the first of the month to easily track things.

Years ago, I did a tarot reading for myself for my year and the reading told me what month I was going to meet my husband, the month we got married and when my daughter was conceived. Since then, I do a yearly reading for myself and now I offer it in person or online.

I also offer it here.

I have some plans for the website, an ebook I’m hoping to publish and some major plans for Bethcessories. (originally here)

This week, I’m barely able to think- my work has me out daily until Christmas Eve, so I got the Christmas cookies baked today and I’m going to go ahead and say

Merry Christmas!!

Attraction Series

Physical Attraction Vs Attraction (part 1 of the series)

I was reading an article saying that no one wants to admit to being unattractive so that makes it harder to fight bias.

Conventional attractiveness has different definitions in different countries and cultures, but not everyone can fit that definition. If people can’t all fit, that means there is a group of people out there who are not attractive. There are also people who don’t care about attractiveness so they have no issues with saying they aren’t attractive- but when someone says that aloud, they get jumped on and corrected.

If you had to choose between intelligence or attractiveness- which would you choose? Same with attractiveness and personality?

They aren’t exclusive- you can easily be all three, but how important is being conventionally attractive in the grand scheme of things? If you’re a model or a related career, it will matter- but it will be short lived since they always want young. After that, how are you going to use your looks? Are you going to spend millions on surgery to upkeep? Would you need to spend millions in order to continue being attractive to your partner?

Most people age- and with aging comes losing that attractiveness so if your only focus is on your appearance, it will do you no good. Most people who grow up less than attractive have to make it up in other areas- intelligence, personality, sense of humor. I am not saying you cannot have a great personality and be attractive, but over compensating does make those traits stand out more.

I did an informal survey of my friends on Facebook and overwhelmingly, personality and intelligence beat physical attraction (intelligence was 100% and personality was all but 1)

Is attractiveness purely physical?

When the attraction stops at physical, it gets boring. If you have no common interests, they have no interests or redeeming personality traits- the attraction will wane. It’s said we are attracted to more than physical- confidence, personality and holding interesting conversations are all parts of why we are attracted to who we are. There are also biological () that attract us to certain people we are biologically compatible with- for primal reproductive reasons. It’s similar to why wide hips and larger breasts are seen as attractive- the breasts nourish newborn babies and hips are an indication of reproductive abilities/fertility and health. Men are naturally born to be protectors and women are drawn to more fit men (biologically) because they are seen as able to protect. Of course, there are men who are skinnier and women who are not built in the biologically attractive way and they still find love. It may be that since we no longer need to produce offspring like we used to, those tendencies are starting to evolve and we aren’t following those instincts any more (plus, we can reason much more than animals) (the evolving thing is MY theory, not a fact I read anywhere)

Is “Conventional Attractiveness” truly ideal?

Conventional is pretty much different in all cultures- in the US culture it’s seen as tanned, blonde, long legs, skinny and tall- think nearly any model but what about people of other races? They can dye their hair blonde, but some seem to hold fat in different places. I was reading about how it’s unfair to other races to use those standards- and it’s not but it’s also pointless. Those standards may or may not even be wanted when it comes to long term relationships. Most models aren’t naturally like that, that’s why they look so sick. I was studying up on the fashion industry and they said they don’t even choose attractive models because models are walking hangers- they want the model to be plain so the clothes stand out. The models themselves follow strict workout routines as well as different methods of starvation (including the cotton ball diet- one of the more disturbing trends) but the sizes they are are hardly healthy.

The hourglass shape tends to be the most wanted- slim waist, curvy hips and breasts and smaller stomach. There is also a method that was developed that rates attractiveness of the face by symmetry.

There may be theories to the science behind what makes people attractive physically, but there will always be personal preference and chemistry in other ways- it’s all subjective.


This is only number 1 in my attraction mini-series. I’ll be posting more