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Christmas shopping for 2

We recently finished our Christmas shopping for 2 kids.

We shopped for 2 girls- age 2 and 6. It is bittersweet. On the one hand, Christmas is a magical time- the kids love seeing the lights, decorations and love the cookies and gifts but it’s really hard knowing you should be shopping for a 2, 4 and 6 year old instead of just the 2 and 6.

I look at the toys and wonder what miss Cassie would have wanted, what she would have been into and what she would have had as her security toy. Would she be a huge doll fan? Would she have wanted to play with Barbies or cars? Would she have been interested in sports? Art? Music? All of the above?

What would her personality have been? Would she have been more laid back like the 6 year old or more hyper like the 2 year old?

Where I work in retail, I meet people with kids my kids’ ages all the time. I’m normally fine, but I met a woman with 2 daughters- 4 and 2 and nearly lost it. I went into work a few days ago crying- had been all afternoon that day and finally calmed myself down enough to do my job.

It hurts, it really reminds you what you’re missing out on. The two living kids we have wear us out but we know we would have been able to handle having 2, 4 and 6. Even if we never rested, we know we’d be doing it.

It’s getting easier to handle these holidays and all that without her but milestones still hit me hard. She would have started school this year (preschool) so we would have had 2 out of 3 in school.

One thing i hate hearing is people using loss as an excuse for people acting like assholes during this season. If someone is an ass during the Christmas season, the only excuse is that they’re assholes the rest of the year as well. Losing someone (grandparent, parent, child- it doesn’t matter) is not an excuse to treat people like crap. The holiday season is stressful for most people- being nice, sweet, charitable and kind is the best way to act during this season (and year round). I’ll never understand why people make excuses for bad behavior but then again, it’s not in my nature. I tried to ship something out for my Etsy and the post office worker was an asshole to me. Instead of causing a scene or acting out, I finished paying and just turned around and walked out. It’s likely going to be my absolute last time using that post office, but it’s not my first bad experience with him and there are literally 4 other post offices to choose from in close vicinity.

I think we’re finally done with our shopping. This weekend, we need to go over everything and make sure we have all bases covered. That’s what I like about working in retail, easy shopping all the way up to the day.

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