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My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks.

I was asked what I wanted.

All I could tell them was I wanted something I can play with, not a need and not clothing or something to use for my business. I want something just for me.

Now, I am at a total loss- no clue what I want.

My brain is going full speed but unless it’s like a book or something, I no longer can think of hobbies.

It’s kind of sad that at 31, I have no hobbies because I spend all my time working or writing and it’s making me realize how little I really have.

I work 24/7 unless I’m sleeping or running after my kids, I have lost damn near all my social skills and quit talking to my friends. My #1 identity is D####’s mommy” or “M#######’s mommy” and it feels like even with me taking time for myself and strongly believing in not losing yourself, I have lost myself.

Before kids, I was a gym rat. I had gym memberships and was actually taking a boxing class. Music was my life. I played basketball and walked all the time.

I’m still interested and keep promising myself I’ll start walking again but never get an opportunity.

Now that I’m out of the pregnancy and young baby stage, it is 100% time to get back to my center and find what works.

Its kind of funny when an innocent question like “what would you like for your birthday?” triggers such a mental storm, but it’s not a good thing when you’ve been lost for 8 years.

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The smoking countdown begins

We have discussed quitting smoking and made attempts. Now, they’re banning smoking on our complex’s property- outside. We do not smoke indoors so quitting is our only option. May 1 is our quit date. I bought patches a few weeks ago because I knew this was coming and I have gum but can’t tolerate it.

I have been working on cutting back and trying to practice some of the tips I have read.

Wish me luck that we both can cut back enough to be able to quit for good this time.

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Day 7 of the Happiness 21 Day Challenge- Try Something Different

Today, I’ve been trying to sit back and really experience every meal and every peice of food I put in my mouth- it’s easier said than done. I guess I have a habit of eating quickly and with distractions (like computer or chasing kids around)

I made Calamari for dinner and really experienced the tentacles when I ate them… maybe wrong choice of foods when doing this.

 

Tomorrow’s challenge may be pretty hard since I’ll be at work all day.

Today, your task is to try something that you’ve never done before.

I’ll update if I can figure something out for that day.