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This past week has been crazy

Since leaving my job, I have been working on my Nano project- which turned into a short story I will be putting out somehow when I get it finished and a novel I am wanting to self publish when I get it finished. I have decided that, instead of trying the traditional route, I’m going to go ahead and self publish. I’m still looking into the different platforms but I still have time.

On top of that, I’m trying to prepare Bethcessories for the holidays- including my first print advertisement for local business. My word count for Nano is suffering, but my businesses are picking up right now. I guess you always have to sacrifice one thing for another. In the very near future, I’m going to be working more on my DIYmommy page, I’m trying to come up with a good domain for it since DIY mommy is taken. I want this to be different from this website but I’m not sure what to name it.

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Day 3 and I’m crushing my wordcount

I’m 3 days in, 2 of those have been long work days and day 1 my minimonster was as crazy as she could be- so I had to mop the craft room and then kitchen and couldn’t get much typing done until they went to bed.

I’m past the 5000 mark, about to hit 6 and as of Friday, I’ll be unemployed for a spell, so I’ll crush this challenge.

I have decided on 2 different projects- 1 was a short story then I decided on a full novel I’m working on now. The fantasy is almost done but I’m moving that to the side.

The longer one, i definitely want to publish when I finish, but just a few thousand words in and I’m already jealous of my main character.

I really do need to quit this only writing in November thing- I need to keep myself in the habit of writing daily and actually finish these rough drafts I have been procrastinating on.

If my blog isn’t as active- it’s because of my shop plus Nano, holiday prep and more than likely whatever job I end up working next.

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I started a page to specifically share recipes and kid craft ideas.

Since I have so many DIY ideas, crafts and converted recipes I decided to create a smaller site and Twitter account to share those on. I’m no longer posting recipes and such here and I’ll be doing updates towards Nano and during November on that blog.

It’s https://diymommy171078038.wordpress.com

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I’ve been trying to get more involved in my daughter’s school

But there is a big difference between our family (young, not rich but not poor, just not upper class) and the majority of the other parents (richer area- which is one huge factor in us wanting to keep her there and make sure her sister goes to that school). It also seems like our lifestyles are different- neither of us drink. At all. We went to a charity event and almost everyone there seemed to have drinks in their hands.

We are also an estimated 10 years younger than most of the other parents I have seen. I have actually been trying to research how to socialize with people of totally different lifestyles and all that and found very little but I’m at a point, I’m modeling being nonsocial to my kids- spending my “social” time talking to friends online instead of seeing people in person. My two year old wants a playmate and my older daughter is now starting to shy away from other kids (but she is also showing interest).

I’ve been trying to put myself in situations to talk to the other parents, so this year I volunteered as the homeroom parent.

So, I have my day job

My 2 side Etsy shops

My side freelancing

Making PTA meetings, school meetings with her team at school, doctors appointments and therapist appointments (she’s in speech, occupational and physical)

and now, making sure I’m able to help out with all the things the HP is supposed to help with- not too much, only a few things and I got one knocked out yesterday afternoon.

There are two coming up next month and after that, not really much until the next party so it’s not going to be time consuming. This is the year I need to sign her up for something- something to get her around other kids her age.

This is what happens when you take someone- give them a type A along with the ADHD attention span, make them a perfectionist- take away all idea of what they want to do career wise then plop them in the middle of motherhood and give them only a part time job and very little choice with what they went to school for.

You get someone like me- the career mindedness of a Type A but with very little direction and a short attention span (unless I’m writing or talking about something like tarot or astrology, or sewing)

Finding out what my outter limits are will be fun, but I’m very far from hitting it. My kids still get attention, I still get sleep (most nights) and nothing important gets neglected. I’d much rather have a full schedule and always be heading out than a laid back day filled with nothing-

I’m still looking for that magical formula for fitting in and figuring out how to socialize with people so much different from me. Just my clothing and tattoos make me stand out- add in religion and even age and I blank when I try to figure out how to start conversations. (and the fact my daughter is special needs makes it that much harder)

I was trying to get to know another mother in a similar situation but heard her talking about church playdates. It had me thinking about looking into local places around here for Pagans- found a few groups and learned we have a larger community than I thought- now it comes down to finding the time to make it to any of the gatherings. If it’s not trying to find stuff, it’s always feeling like I’m on a time crunch- even though most of the time I’m not.

 

This should be a fun year, though. I won’t be able to attend the first PTA meeting but I’m hoping I’ll be able to make all the others and I’m hoping I’ll be able to actually volunteer this year. I may also find a way to have a little “me” time without keeping myself up this late (I need to go to bed, but I’ve been off 3 days- so that means I’ve been with my girls nonstop) I’m living for this weekend (we’re taking our anniversary trip that we had to call off last month). For 3 days, it will be just me and my husband- no certain time to get out of bed and no certain time to do anything else. I cannot wait for some true relaxation.

 

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How Many Times Have You Had to Reheat the Same Cup of Coffee?

I’m sure any other coffee addict moms can answer. I think my record for reheating coffee was about 5 or 6 times- including 2 times without drinking any because I forgot to take it out of the microwave.

Once I left a cup of decaf in the microwave, forgot about it because we were so busy packing to move. We moved the microwave into our new apartment and the next day(2-3 days after leaving the coffee) I opened it and found the mug still intact and not a single drop spilled.

I’m becoming my mom. I grew up watching her constantly misplace her cup and now every day it feels like I have to search for it.

 

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I just got notified a few days ago it was my 1 year anniversary

I also just noticed I was on 99 posts, so this is my 100th post.

It took me 1 year to reach 100 posts. I’m thinking about challenging myself to make 1 new post a day and see if I can add 365 by this time next year.

I guess by my 1 year anniversary, I reached almost 100 posts and I hit 50 subscribers yesterday.

I’d like to thank everyone who has read, liked, commented, subscribed etc.

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I’m getting ready to do a full series on attraction

I read an article a while back about being the ugly friend. I’m tired of hearing “ugly” being used as an insult since attractiveness means different things to different people and no one is universally ugly- or attractive. Even the most attractive woman in the world wouldn’t be seen as attractive to every single person on this planet- but even the ugliest wouldn’t be ugly to others.

There are many layers to what makes someone attractive and so much more than I could write in one post so I’m doing an introduction to the series. I’m not sure how many I will post in this series, I have 2 drafts started, a few questions asked on my facebook and a few questions I’ll be writing as an interview and asking questions so at least 5.

 

If anyone has any questions about the series- feel free to comment.

I do not believe in the concept of true attractiveness. I don’t believe in universal nor do I believe in being jealous (I do think there are people jealous- but I don’t believe in being jealous- I consider any feelings of jealousy to be showing me where I need to self reflect and try to improve myself

I never had destructive jealousy when I was younger, but this series is going to be written more directed at a younger age- early 20s and single- touching on getting older and aging since we all know a lot of physical attractiveness tends to fade over the years- especially when upkeep gets put on the back burner.

I do not consider myself to be unattractive nor attractive- but average look wise- same as the majority of the population as a whole and when I speak on attractive, I typically mean conventional.

My first will be listing the benefits I could find about being the so called “ugly friend”

Others will be a poll I’m currently taking about what people find more attractive- intelligence, personality or physical appearance

Heavily researched articles about “beauty privilege” and “ugly discrimination”as well as the benefits to being seen as conventionally attractive.

and in the end, I’ll end it with open questions and poll about what makes people attractive to other people. (asking random people)

If anyone has any questions about any of these or have any questions they would like to see answered, feel free to comment the questions.

 

 

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Is Drinking Really Worth It?

I read so much about parents and drinking, all the posts and memes about wine and all the jokes about how bad mommy needs a drink. 

It had me thinking about it a while back, and while I really didn’t mean to write this, I’m writing it now. People who knew me pre-kids and pre-marriage and know me now have seen a huge change. Before I met my (pretty much, anti alcohol) husband, I was an alcoholic. My day consisted of- gym, walk to work, walk to bar before going home. That was my daily life. I was functional- but not. I was able to hold a job but there were times I would spend nearly my whole bank account and barely remember the last night. One St Patrick’s Day, I spent 12 hours at the bar. They knew me by name and it was a time I felt like I fit in.

Then, my husband and I met and I cut down massively- he was 19 and I was 22 when we met so I couldn’t go to the bar anymore (I could, but I wanted to go out with him). I never was a fan of drinking solo, so I quit. I got pregnant right after we got married and attended my very first party without drinking- I still had fun, even though he and I were the only ones not drinking. As I got a little older and more established as a new mommy, alcohol was losing it’s appeal completely. Since having kids, I have only drank a handful of times and after my last time, I won’t again.

I started looking for nonreligious places to go to meet other adults with kids but no alcohol and it’s tough. It feels like drinking is the most symbolic part of being an adult. I know I’m not the only one who feels that alcohol isn’t as sweet and innocent a joke as people seem to think.

While looking up the “mommy needs a drink” joke, I found this from the site Salon talking about growing up living that “joke.”

Coming from the experience of “I really need a drink” (in order to properly function), I don’t consider that joke to be funny. I do have days I don’t get the chance to sit until bedtime, I have bad days- but nothing so bad it would put me back in the bottle.

In my failed attempts to locate family friendly events where I could possibly meet other local parents, I attended a family friendly charity event about a year ago. They had two kid booths but in the food booths the smell of alcohol was so strong I could barely smell the food. We had a hard time hearing each other or our kids over the sound of the adults getting louder and more obnoxious that we left after the girls ate. By the time we left, we were walking past groups of grown women who were loud, obnoxious and flirting with men who were on the same level of intoxication. This was in a rich part of town with men and women who put on a classier show in other places. I was honestly surprised to see so many people acting like teenagers.

Last year we went on vacation with my mom and dad. My husband and I went to the hotel restaurant to grab desert. There was a family and the dad was obnoxiously drunk already, with two young kids in his party.

When I was a child, I was taken home after people started drinking. I would notice the adults getting louder and crazier but we always left. Both my parents were totally against alcohol so I’m sure the way I was raised may have something to do with it, but should parents get drunk around their kids? Sure, drinking a few sips or drinking a bottle with a meal isn’t too bad, but should parents really let their young kids see them actually get intoxicated?

There have been studies about parental drinking around kids, even moderate drinking- and seeing parents drunk or tipsy can upset children. There has also been findings that people who watched their parents drinking growing up tend to be more likely to drink as teens and associate with younger drinkers.***

Being taken away didn’t keep me from trying it at 18 or going to a bar regularly at 22, but I also quit drinking quickly. I was a daily drinker from 21 until shortly after my 22nd birthday, when I started to put it down. This past June, on vacation, I got a Margarita but it took me 30 minutes to regulate my breathing and I felt my throat closing, so I am done now. Before that, it had been over a year and before that, another year. I still can go out with friends and have fun. My husband and I have gone to a few local shows and it is more enjoyable without getting dizzy and agitated. Same with going to parties, but I’m still at a stage where I’m more interested in kid’s parties and kid friendly events I can take the whole family.

My kids have never seen me drunk nor intoxicated and I know they never will, I’m saying now I have an alcohol allergy, if pressed, I’ll also admit to being in recovery- it may have been a short time, but at that time my life revolved around alcohol and I never want the girls to go through it.

Even though you can’t prevent your kids from experimenting or giving in to peer pressure, you can educate them on the dangers of alcohol. You can tell them it’s addictive and the problems it causes. It impairs your ability to think right- it causes accidents. In fact, in the US alone, 10,497 people were killed in 2016 due to intoxicated drivers- 28% of accidents that year (according to the CDC). It also harms your liver, kidneys and can lead to liver failure if you drink too much.

Getting drunk itself is a result of alcohol being a poison and the puking and passing out is actually a warning sign of drinking too much- potential alcohol poisoning. Alcohol poisoning can easily lead to death.

Just because people say red wine and moderate drinking (1 glass for a woman, 2 for a man) have health benefits, lifestyle may play a bigger role than the alcohol. There haven’t been enough long term studies to fully prove red wine is as healthy as they say it is. Just like beer, liquor and other forms of alcohol, wine is also a depressant. It slows your body down and can lead to so much more pain than enjoyment. Is it really worth the risk?

 

 

 

 

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“Mommy likes coffee”

“Mommy likes coffee, Michelle likes coffee”

“You sneezed, mommy”

“I didn’t sneeze, mommy”

 

I love watching and listening to my daughter. She amazes me daily with some of the things she says. Our seven year old is growing her vocabulary as well- she’s starting to speak in small sentences and says anything. Learning (teaching herself) how to read has been a huge plus- now she reads and she’s getting faster and faster.

The two year old also has a great imagination- which is growing the seven year old’s as well. They play pretend and Diana takes on the characters Michelle gives her. lol

They’re always Annie and Quincy from Baby Einsteins.

My two year old also says some of the funniest things and (bad thing) seems to know no stranger. We’re working on that one..

What are some of your kids’ most used or funniest phrases? My daughter will announce to people that mommy likes coffee (guess that’s my fault for drinking it all the time)

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I can’t believe the difference a year makes

We just got home from the beach yesterday. We went last year during the same week.

I found our old beach pictures from last year and was amazed by how different the two year old looks.She looks so much older now, is now the size of a 3 year old and is talking, running, jumping and was so much more active. She was even trying to teach herself how to swim in the baby pool (partially dragging herself and partially starting to dog paddle- following the lead of some of the other kids she was watching and playing with)

It had me thinking about last year (she was 1 1/2 and now she’s 2 1/2) and also wonerding what the next year will bring us.

Now, she still loves bubbles, she loves nail polish, hats, headbands, necklaces, bracelets and rings. She loves lollipops, Ciao brand vegan cheese, apple juice and soy vanilla yogurt. (or as she calls it, “ice cream.”)

Back then she ate everything but had chronic diarrhea but now we know she can’t have animal milk or animal milk products (including goats milk or cheese) so we have to give her vegan butter, sour cream, cream cheese, cheese and ice cream)

Back then she would eat nearly anything and had a very healthy appetite, but now she only snacks and eats cheese, fruits and some vegetables- she’ll eat sandwiches occasionally and loves apple juice.

 

My 7 year old is fully potty trained, but has been since she was 5. (she was potty trained during the day at 4 but still in overnight pull ups- now she’s almost fully accident free), she’s talking a lot more, starting to be able to jump off the ground and can do stairs and stoops/curbs alone. Her speech is improving and she’s now going into her bedroom to play. She still melts down with loud noises and has ear tubes again but she’s getting a tiny bit better with some noise. She’s the one in the family who can eat whatever she wants but still eats like a bird. We did finally get her stably up to 38lbs but next year her sister still is probably going to pass her up weight wise.

She has also come so far this year, but she looks about the same. She’s not at an age where looks drastically change. With the two year old, she moved out of being a baby to being a toddler and you can see it plain as day.