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Physical Attraction Vs Attraction (part 1 of the series)

I was reading an article saying that no one wants to admit to being unattractive so that makes it harder to fight bias.

Conventional attractiveness has different definitions in different countries and cultures, but not everyone can fit that definition. If people can’t all fit, that means there is a group of people out there who are not attractive. There are also people who don’t care about attractiveness so they have no issues with saying they aren’t attractive- but when someone says that aloud, they get jumped on and corrected.

If you had to choose between intelligence or attractiveness- which would you choose? Same with attractiveness and personality?

They aren’t exclusive- you can easily be all three, but how important is being conventionally attractive in the grand scheme of things? If you’re a model or a related career, it will matter- but it will be short lived since they always want young. After that, how are you going to use your looks? Are you going to spend millions on surgery to upkeep? Would you need to spend millions in order to continue being attractive to your partner?

Most people age- and with aging comes losing that attractiveness so if your only focus is on your appearance, it will do you no good. Most people who grow up less than attractive have to make it up in other areas- intelligence, personality, sense of humor. I am not saying you cannot have a great personality and be attractive, but over compensating does make those traits stand out more.

I did an informal survey of my friends on Facebook and overwhelmingly, personality and intelligence beat physical attraction (intelligence was 100% and personality was all but 1)

Is attractiveness purely physical?

When the attraction stops at physical, it gets boring. If you have no common interests, they have no interests or redeeming personality traits- the attraction will wane. It’s said we are attracted to more than physical- confidence, personality and holding interesting conversations are all parts of why we are attracted to who we are. There are also biological () that attract us to certain people we are biologically compatible with- for primal reproductive reasons. It’s similar to why wide hips and larger breasts are seen as attractive- the breasts nourish newborn babies and hips are an indication of reproductive abilities/fertility and health. Men are naturally born to be protectors and women are drawn to more fit men (biologically) because they are seen as able to protect. Of course, there are men who are skinnier and women who are not built in the biologically attractive way and they still find love. It may be that since we no longer need to produce offspring like we used to, those tendencies are starting to evolve and we aren’t following those instincts any more (plus, we can reason much more than animals) (the evolving thing is MY theory, not a fact I read anywhere)

Is “Conventional Attractiveness” truly ideal?

Conventional is pretty much different in all cultures- in the US culture it’s seen as tanned, blonde, long legs, skinny and tall- think nearly any model but what about people of other races? They can dye their hair blonde, but some seem to hold fat in different places. I was reading about how it’s unfair to other races to use those standards- and it’s not but it’s also pointless. Those standards may or may not even be wanted when it comes to long term relationships. Most models aren’t naturally like that, that’s why they look so sick. I was studying up on the fashion industry and they said they don’t even choose attractive models because models are walking hangers- they want the model to be plain so the clothes stand out. The models themselves follow strict workout routines as well as different methods of starvation (including the cotton ball diet- one of the more disturbing trends) but the sizes they are are hardly healthy.

The hourglass shape tends to be the most wanted- slim waist, curvy hips and breasts and smaller stomach. There is also a method that was developed that rates attractiveness of the face by symmetry.

There may be theories to the science behind what makes people attractive physically, but there will always be personal preference and chemistry in other ways- it’s all subjective.

 

This is only number 1 in my attraction mini-series. I’ll be posting more

 

 

 

 

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I’m getting ready to do a full series on attraction

I read an article a while back about being the ugly friend. I’m tired of hearing “ugly” being used as an insult since attractiveness means different things to different people and no one is universally ugly- or attractive. Even the most attractive woman in the world wouldn’t be seen as attractive to every single person on this planet- but even the ugliest wouldn’t be ugly to others.

There are many layers to what makes someone attractive and so much more than I could write in one post so I’m doing an introduction to the series. I’m not sure how many I will post in this series, I have 2 drafts started, a few questions asked on my facebook and a few questions I’ll be writing as an interview and asking questions so at least 5.

 

If anyone has any questions about the series- feel free to comment.

I do not believe in the concept of true attractiveness. I don’t believe in universal nor do I believe in being jealous (I do think there are people jealous- but I don’t believe in being jealous- I consider any feelings of jealousy to be showing me where I need to self reflect and try to improve myself

I never had destructive jealousy when I was younger, but this series is going to be written more directed at a younger age- early 20s and single- touching on getting older and aging since we all know a lot of physical attractiveness tends to fade over the years- especially when upkeep gets put on the back burner.

I do not consider myself to be unattractive nor attractive- but average look wise- same as the majority of the population as a whole and when I speak on attractive, I typically mean conventional.

My first will be listing the benefits I could find about being the so called “ugly friend”

Others will be a poll I’m currently taking about what people find more attractive- intelligence, personality or physical appearance

Heavily researched articles about “beauty privilege” and “ugly discrimination”as well as the benefits to being seen as conventionally attractive.

and in the end, I’ll end it with open questions and poll about what makes people attractive to other people. (asking random people)

If anyone has any questions about any of these or have any questions they would like to see answered, feel free to comment the questions.