Posted on Leave a comment

Day 6 of the 21 Days Happiness Challenge

Today was to start with a meditation. I got off to a rocky start, but I did get a minute or two in. I have been trying to get it in daily- different times of the day, though.

Tomorrow’s challenge-

Today, be mindful of the quality of food you are eating, and start each meal by taking the first five bites with full awareness.

So, tomorrow I’ll be trying to focus on what I’m eating instead of just eating. Maybe it can help me with cutting back how much I eat. I guess I’ll see how easy it is tomorrow.

Posted on Leave a comment

New Home Decoration Line Coming out

Right now, my focus is on holiday and daily themed decorative pillows but I’m working on adding. One of these days I’m planning on it being a full decor line complete with blankets, quilts, washcloths, towels, curtains, signs and in the very distant future- wooden furniture. Right now, it’s decorative pillows and candles. I started toying with this a few years ago with hats (still sell), earrings (discontinued), scarves (have a few left for sale but discontinued- will take one order a year due to the amount of time they take to make)

https://www.etsy.com/shop/BethcessoriesDesign

27583223_188253921928733_939721617_n

I also have a tarot/dream interretation shop that has my candles and most of my current holiday decorative pillows- but the pillows will be removed from this shop and put back in the old shop when they expire.

This is my main (oldest) shop

https://www.etsy.com/shop/newagedreamchick

27605744_188252518595540_830162565_o

 

il_570xN.1374875642_qxbs27497812_188253915262067_424597320_n27479336_188252585262200_1020846250_o27400312_188253881928737_288194400_n27394528_188253908595401_41163738_n

Posted on Leave a comment

Day 5 of the Happiness Challenge- Morning Meditation

“Hooray! Pat yourself on the back for starting your day with a morning meditation. We bet you’re feeling rested, rejuvenated, and ready to take on the rest of your day with increased energy, peace, and happiness.

If you haven’t done it yet, today’s action is to begin your day with this guided morning meditation.

 

Tomorrow I will start my day off with a meditation. It works out well due to promising my six year old we could do some Yoga tomorrow since she’s once again not in school.

The challenge from last night was to turn off my phone and all electronics an hour before I went to bed to relax before I went to sleep.

I made it about 30-40 minutes and fell asleep. I turned my phone off shortly after I posted the blog, decided to put my girl to bed (we still cosleep with the 6 year old- she’s special needs and has had a fear of sleeping alone ever since she fell out of her bed when she was 3, we had a baby gate up so she wouldn’t leave her bed and fall down the stairs and she couldn’t get to us so she’s been sleeping with us ever since. She has actual panic episodes when we try to get her in her own bed, so we’re waiting until she’s hopefully able to give it up herself- she even has her own room, bed, sheets, blanket, pillows and everything else in characters she has asked and she now spends most of the day in her room. We’re hoping we’re getting closer to her being able to give up our bed and move to hers since she loves her room so much)

When I put her to sleep, I was tired and worn out so I ended up falling asleep by 9:30. I woke up at 7:30 so it gave me a full 10 hours of sleep, which was nice. I have autoimmune issues, so even with that much sleep, I was still tired. I was more awake during the day and needed less caffeine than I usually do. I’ll post about trying the meditation with both of my girls tomorrow.

Posted on Leave a comment

You Know You’re A Parent When…

You and your husband are the only ones awake and you announce you need to potty.

You put the kids in bed hours ago but Disney/Nick Jr is still playing in the background

You have rules such as- 1. No licking the cat. 2. No licking the door. 3. No licking your sister and 4. No throwing objects at the cat.

You know the pain of stepping on a Shopkinz toy (hurts worse than a Lego)

You have to buy a new vacuum almost annually due to overuse.

Your shampooer is constantly out and running.

You have random stains in your mattress, mattress pad, couch and chairs- you’re not sure what they are but you know it’s food.

 

Posted on Leave a comment

Day 4 of the 21 Days Happiness Challenge-Unplug

Since day 2 was to perform an act of kindness and day 3 was to reconnect with an old friend and I don’t share acts of kindness. I do not share about my charity donations either, unless I’m fundraising and there is nothing to publicly share about talking to an old friend, I didn’t post on either day. I’m on Day 4.

“Today, turn your phone off a full hour before you go to bed, and use this time to slow your nightly routine down, become more mindful, and ease your body into rest.

Around 930, I’m putting my phone in my room on charge and will be staying offline.

Posted on Leave a comment

Day 1- 21 Days of Happiness Challenge

Your task today is to start a gratitude journal.

You don’t have to have an actual, physical journal to start (although we all love a good excuse to pick up a fresh, empty notebook, don’t we?). It can be public or private, typed up or written down. You can use sticky notes and create an entire wall of things to be thankful for, or even share your thoughts on Facebook and encourage your friends to join you in the Happiness Challenge.

However you choose to participate, begin by writing down three things you are thankful for. 

  • Be as specific as possible,
  • don’t list the same thing twice,
  • and try not to take yourself too seriously!

And of course, if you enjoy and find benefit in this or any task from the challenge, consider choosing that as an ongoing habit in your life.

20171209_121944.jpg

1. I am thankful for my two beautiful daughters and my angel. I’m thankful I get to wake up to those two cute little faces and that I’m getting to watch them go from babies through their lives to developing their own interests, talents and personalities.

26220611_333646840445632_8924867877450032191_o(1)

2. I couldn’t be half the person I am right now without my husband. When I’m feeling too tired or am in too much pain, he’s pulling my half of the weight- and not complaining (much lol)

22135417_109807439773382_2651808509358645782_o

3. My parents- They also help so much, especially while I’m getting stabilized on my thyroid meds and am working towards gaining as much of my health back. My mom is also a great person to go to when I need a reality check and she reads up on so much and helps. She also is taken seriously by specialists and teachers- which I’m still, I guess, too young looking to have happen. If I take her with me, they take me more seriously and will talk more than when I’m alone.

Posted on Leave a comment

Things I have learned over the years after three pregnancies

My daughter is seven years old. Just started second grade and these past seven years have changed me so much.

I never thought I’d be associated with stuff like Pinterest nor Starbucks lol

I never thought I’d be like my mom. She was an absolutely great mom and I’m so glad she adopted me (My biological is also great) but I never could see myself being the “uptight” type- now I am seen as uptight and Matt and I are treated like the parents around people our own age.

I’ve learned about kids, life, marriage and everything else and also have promised myself I’ll not talk about my pregnancy experience with newly expectant first time moms. I am the worst case scenario in 2 of three pregnancies.

Sitting down, I came up with a list of some of the things I have learned over the past (technically 8) years and three pregnancies-

1. Never use a book like “what to expect” as your pregnancy or baby-rearing bible. Not every baby will hit all the same milestones at the same time and nowhere near all babies are by the book.

2. If people are telling you to go to labor and delivery because your body swelling up is not normal, listen. Feet and legs swell, put your feet up and consult your doctor if the swelling gets too bad, however always to straight to the doctor or ER if your hands and face puff out- seriously, it’s a sign of pre-eclampsia and should not be ignored.

3. “It happens to other people, it doesn’t happen to me” is not a good way to look at things. It can push you into denial and lead to symptoms being ignored, that’s how I felt when it came to both pregnancy complications and special needs kids and it didn’t help either situation.

4. Always make time for yourself. Daily. Having just a few minutes to relax daily helps you find your center and ground yourself. I always use the time after the kids go to bed to fully relax.

5. You don’t have to listen to all the advice random people (strangers or friends or blogs) give you but do listen to your doctor. Just because someone did something while pregnant, doesn’t mean it will help or will be safe so it’s always best to go by your doctor’s guidance.

6. Always make time for yourself- you will need it and your kids will need you to have it

7. Your spouse needs to be 100% with you- equal partners. It doesn’t matter if one or both of y’all are employed. They need you on their team and vice versa.

8. Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first once in a while- you need to come first at some time.

9. It’s ok to allow the kids to play alone. You don’t have to be up in their face 24/7.

10. Making them get themselves to sleep helps them learn to self soothe- otherwise you may end up with a 7 year old who clings to you in your sleep.

11. There is no such thing as toddler proof- you may think it’s secure, but it’s not. It may be adult proof, but if it exists, a toddler can easily open it.

12. You are NOT raising kids- you’re raising future adults

13. I should not be trying to come up with lists when I’m tired and just worked a long day.

 

There’s so much more, but that will be in a later post.

 

 

Posted on Leave a comment

One of these days i would love to add woodworking to my skills.

I would love to live on a few acres, have a full size vegetable and fruit garden, my own wood shop with a full tool kit as well as professional grade tools and spend my days woodworking, gardening, drying herbs and creating. That seems like it would be a dream life. I haven’t learned much with woodwork outside of basic burning and the basics of sawing and nailing but I also don’t have room in my small apartment to learn something that messy.

I am working on learning how to quilt. My first was successful but I have too many pieces cut that don’t match and no one off the top of my head to give a baby quilt to.

I’ve been watching embroidery videos and practicing the stitches they are teaching. I just dyed my first piece of fabric and already have plans for what I’m going to do with that.

Sewing is fun, it’s a creative outlet but there is something about the smell of wood- after you finish wood burning or when you’re cutting into it- it smells amazing and the results are beautiful.

One of these days i would love making tables, chairs and even beds.

I am planning on starting an herb garden this year and dry them out.

I also have plans to plant one or two small vegetable plants.

I’d love to get my 6 year old interested in doing arts and crafts with me, but I did get my 2 year old to paint her first birdhouse a few days ago and she loves coloring, painting and everything else.

I have been practicing Wood burning- letters and numbers. I know it’s not a hard craft to do, but I’m still learning. That was my first attempt- it was messy and sloppy so we turned the piece I was working on into a shelf so you can’t see what I was doodling.

Posted on Leave a comment

I’ve been dealing with the aftermath of severe trauma for almost 10 years now.

Now, I don’t panic when I hear a man screaming at someone but I do cower when someone is screaming at me.

Now, I don’t have the flashbacks when something reminds me of the abuse, but I do still have vivid memories that hit at random times.

Now, I don’t automatically believe everyone hates me but I do have periods, however brief, where I do feel like everyone puts up with me and doesn’t actually like me.

Now, I am not always watching my back but I still panic if I think I see him.

I no longer believe I have damned near every mental illness in the book, but I still question myself at times- despite those who know me best saying I’m fine.

I no longer panic and lash out when something triggers a memory, but I will freeze and still can’t defend myself physically.

Every day is getting a little better. I’m slowly reverting to who I was before we met. I have almost completely gotten myself back but I know I’ll never be the same as I was. I could never be that young, naive, outgoing girl I used to be. The one who would sit down with strangers at school and make friends like I did in college. The one who would talk to everyone. The one who was told she made people feel comfortable in new situations.

I am getting better at talking to people, but my brain freezes and I either talk too much or clam up.

10 years ago, a decade, I was 20. I had just left college and got in my first adult relationship. It lasted almost 2 years. I started healing almost as soon as the final break up. Almost one year to the date of our break up, I met the man I ended up marrying. We have been together almost 8 years now with two beautiful kids. I look back and not only do I hate who I was, I hate who I became right after. I have slowly been changing myself and like I said, every day gets a little better. When we broke up, I lost a lot of my stuff. I was homeless and didn’t have a car. I pretty much lost all my friends with a very few exceptions and very few people even believed me when I did try to say something.

I started down a bad road- with drugs, alcohol and jumping in and out of living situations. That only lasted a few months until I woke up one day and realized I was wasting my time, life, and money so I moved back in with my parents to detox. I still had a drinking problem but I got and held a job, got a gym membership and got into boxing then ran into an old friend. I was with her when I met my husband. We hit it off fast and within a few months we were married. He has never been into drugs nor alcohol so he has helped me get and stay sober. Now, I may drink one glass of something one or two times a year but outside of that, I don’t drink. There was one time I said that I would smoke til the day I die- now it’s been 8 years since my last hit.

If anyone reading this has just gotten out of an abusive relationship, just keep in mind. It’s hard, yes but it does get better. Every day you’ll be a little stronger and every year will get better. You have to take it day by day, month by month and year by year but at some point, you will be healed enough to move on with your life and you will be stronger than you thought you could be.